There are days when I need encouragement. At those times, I need heart-felt, honest encouragement. The platitudes of “I’m praying for you” or “I’m thinking about you” or “God’s just going to bless you so much” just doesn’t cut it at those times.
Neither do the new age platitudes of sending them good vibes or asking that they be surrounded by light. They may even surround you with crystals and other items associated with healing vibrations.
I’m not trying to be a sad sack in those moments. I understand how others find it painful to be around someone whose in need of encouragement. At those moments, the well meaning may not know what to say. They feel helpless, yet want to help.
What makes the platitudes hard to hear is when they are delivered with syrupy sweet almost condescending tone. It’s one thing when they are heart-felt, but another when they’re insincere.
Those needing encouragement literally suck the energy out of others. It’s draining just being around them. I’ve seen situations where the energy suck is so real that it impacts electronics around them.
What meant a lot to me was when someone was just there with me. I didn’t want entertaining or jokes, just someone who doesn’t run from the pain and the weariness. When someone just sat with me while I was in pain meant a great deal.
I don’t need them telling me what to do or think. I just need them to hear me out. I needed someone to hear my story and my pain.
I understand how the only thing some people can think of at those moments of discouragement like those that come with an affair are platitudes such as these. I can’t fault them for not knowing what to say in those moments when you are going through affair recovery.
Some of them may even be scared that Affair germs will rub off onto them and their marriage.
When dealing with the affair on a daily basis, there will be times of discouragement. There are times you want a vacation from what life is throwing at you.
One of the things that helps during those times is when someone takes a personal interest in you and what you’re going through. Just knowing you’re not alone in your struggle provides some encouragement.
You know there are some burdens you have to carry alone, yet with someone you can share what you are going through with, it makes it survivable.
It’s at times like this that a site like Restored Lifestyle can help. There you can find others going through what you’ve been through.
You’ll find places where you can express what you’re struggling with with anonymity. Since it’s a membership site, it’s also free from spying eyes.
When someone else is going through recovery and they say “I know what you’re going through” and they mean it. At those times, you know that someone else ‘gets you’.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
