As people, we all want to have times of reconnection and validation during the holidays. Lovers will also seek such reconnection and validation. In many ways, they want the cheater to deliver on implied promises that being in a relationship bring with them. They want validation too. The problem is that the cheater can not deliver on those implied commitments. They begin a relationship that they can not fulfill. Someone is going to end up loosing out, be it the lover, the cheater or you as the spouse.
Holidays bring high expectation with them. When there is an affair, those expectations are increased. The reality is that someone is going to be disappointed. Someone will not get their holiday validation. Someone will miss out on family time during the holidays. Someone is going to get caught trying to please everyone and end up loosing themselves in the process. Although the holidays are supposed to be filled with joy, for some, they will be times of hitting rock bottom. If you see your spouse stressed out, it may be that they are trying to alleviate someone else’s pain.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
