Have you been trolled? I know I have been. Just the other day someone left a comment on the blog designed to inflame me.
He went so far as to state ” ..you obviously have no real experience speaking with someone in the lifestyle I suggest people do some research and NOT follow this advice.” Within minutes I was typing out my response.
I thought to myself “How dare he say something like that!”
I wrote out what I thought was a good response countering all the claims he made. I found myself angry at his doubting the information in the post and as an added insult encouraged others to NOT follow my advice.
The advice part puzzled me since the only advice given was to think about the consequences of swinging and affairs before making such a choice. I stopped for a moment and considered my options and reactions.
I read my response to my wife. She listened and gave me her advice on the matter.
In thinking things through, I noticed his return email was to a swinger-oriented site. Then it hit me that he was hoping for a reaction in order to give his site more exposure. He wanted the traffic a reaction would bring.
At that moment, I realized I had been attacked by a troll.
Although you may not initially see the connection between trolling and affairs, there’s a strong one. Things are said in order to get your reactions rather than finding the truth.
This is especially true when lawyers are introduced to the situation. You may even find yourself trolling the cheater and not realize it. At that moment, you want their reaction rather than the truth.
Anytime lawyers are brought in, the ground rules for your marital communication changes. Talking freely without thinking and reacting emotionally is what the lawyers are hoping for. They are champion trolls.
They use children, wild allegations and other inflammatory hot buttons in order to trigger reactions. Trolls set traps.
They say things they know you’ll react to. They count on you reacting without thinking through your response.
You may not see the troll trap, yet discussing what happened and your reaction with others will help you see hidden traps. This is where having a support group helps you avoid dangers.
At Restored Lifestyle, you have access to forums where you can discuss dangers like troll traps. Your invitation for membership is waiting.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
