Dealing with pain is not easy. When one is in pain, the focus of their attention is drawn to the pain. The thoughts running through their mind are to hurt those who hurt them. When we experience a personal attack, our first reaction is often to attack back. Since the attack is personal, it arouses the emotions and we lash out. Emotional solutions to pain only serve to reduce the pain, they rarely solve the problems. One of the reasons these solutions do not solve the problems is that when we are in pain, we do not see the problems clearly so are unable to come up with clear solutions to the problems.
Although it is counter-intuitive, the solution involves choosing not to take it personally. Yes I know that when you are hurting, it is difficult to not take it personally. When you choose not to take it personally, you can then see other possible solutions to the problems, rather than just lashing out at those who hurt you. Although the pain is personal, your solution does not have to be. It may be difficult at first. You may take 80% personal, yet that is better than 100%. Each day you practice this, you will find your ability to see solutions much clearer.
There are more solutions to the pain and things to avoid in the program available at SurviveYourPartnersAffair.com . If you found this helpful, you may want to find other things that you can do to bring sanity back into your life.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
