One of the questions posed by the paramours concerning the adulterers is “Will they love my kids?” Although starting an affair is easy enough, learning how to live with the affair is another matter. When the affair moves from the hot rendezvous to a more serious arrangement questions start being posed concerning the families. It is at that point that the paramour and the adulterer begin to wrestle with reality. Prior to that point all they had to think about was themselves. Now they have to consider how their choices and behaviors will effect others. Although you may find the adulterer a loving person, your children may not. The adulterer may be interested in your body, but may not be so interested in your children.
When you are single with children or even married with children, you are a package deal. The children are part of the bargain. Although the affair looks nice, it will need to be considered in the full light of day, and seen for the big picture. The big picture includes not only how they deal with your children, but also how your children will deal with them. It would be nice if the world was inclusive and we just all got along and loved each other. The reality is that relationships do have boundaries. We have to respect those boundaries. We also have to deal with guilt when we have violated moral boundaries. Although people like Arie Hoekman praise broken marriages and pregnancy out of wedlock with confusing rhetoric, the reality is those situations are painful. They are painful for you, the adulterer and your children.
Before jumping into an affair or jumping into the bed with an adulterer, consider asking yourself the question, “Will they love my kids?” Chances are they will not love them like you do, nor will they jump into the ‘good parent’ role, just becasue they already have a family. Considering that they were not loyal to their families, they will likely not be loyal to you and yours either.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
