Several months ago I wrote to you about FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and its prevalence in modern culture. Although the term is a recent creation, the experience is not.
In previous generations rather than talking about FOMO, it was instead referred to as the desire to fit in or be accepted. It’s the same phenomena with a new label and new angle.
I prefer the previous way of explaining it. Turning a natural desire into a fear turns it from a positive to a negative in my mind.
The desire to ‘fit in’ is a natural one. From when you were young, you wanted to know what your place was in the world along with where you fit into things.
Turning that into a fear adds a sense of urgency and panic to the whole situation. It strikes me as peer pressure gone amok.
The FOMO experience has contributed to some affairs. The media has added fuel to the FOMO regarding affairs. By glamorizing them and normalizing them, some potential cheaters fear they are missing out by not having an affair.
They feel that they’re being denied something that’s rightfully theirs or that they are missing out on ‘living with gusto‘. Fear is a powerful motivator and playing on fear is an effective way of making people do things.
The sad part is that many cheaters still love their spouse, they just thought they were ‘missing out’ by not having a fling. Even in the Affair Recovery Survey, a majority of cheaters indicated they still love their spouses.
When fear is added to the natural desires of fitting in, it creates a sense of desperation. There are lovers who exploit that vulnerability and use it for selfish purposes.
In the upcoming report “How Affairs Hack Your Brain” which is being sent to members of Restored Lifestyle, I explain how that natural desire for fitting in gets twisted around with affairs. The report is going on the 15th, so you still have time to get your copy.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
