Have you ever been to a conference focused on personal development? I know I have. They’re often long, drawn out and overwhelming. Sure, there’s lots of good information, yet the information overload puts a damper on my enthusiasm.
I am reminded of what my friend Daryl Pitts often said, “The mind can only take in what your seat can endure.” I also know that those conferences contain many helpful nuggets of wisdom.
One of the nuggets I gained as a young man was the insight that your negative qualities are actually positive traits that are being misused. I’ve seen that repeatedly in my life.
It’s when I have misused positive qualities that I’ve gotten myself in trouble. It has taken me a while to discover and master using my positive qualities in the way they were designed to function.
For example, the talent of being persuasive becomes destructive when used as manipulation. You realize that there’s a living Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde inside of you.
Countless affairs have been started when cheaters misused their own natural positive qualities. It’s as if they sabotage themselves with their own talents.
This insight is true regarding your natural talents and your body’s natural mechanisms. It’s when those natural mechanisms are misused that things go haywire.
Those natural mechanisms that are designed for building healthy attachments are often twisted to where they become the chains that keep cheaters caught up in affairs. All this because they didn’t use them in the correct manner.
Researchers have also found that just merely complaining on a daily basis changes your brain and your ability to think. If complaining changes your brain, imagine how affairs and fantasies change them.
In the report “How Affairs Hack Your Brain” which is available exclusively to members of Restored Lifestyle, I share how those natural mechanisms are turned around with affairs. Rather than sitting there stunned wondering “How could this happen?” You can instead know what you’re dealing with and discover ways of redirecting those mechanisms.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
2 Responses
They say research shows a change in the brain related to lies. One looses the ability to feel bad or remorse. I personally think most cheaters lack true empathy.
Anonymous,
Thank you for writing. Your points are worth taking note of. The longer someone lies, the more ingrained the behavior becomes. Although many cheaters lack true empathy, I’m not sure I can say ‘most do’ in every case. In the case of exit affairs, I would agree.
What I can say about most cheaters is that they certainly have trouble connecting with their spouses. I also see a disturbing trend in large numbers of people in society today having trouble connecting with other persons as well.