There’s never a good time for discovering your spouse’s affair. No matter when you discover their affair, it brings pain and heartache.
One of the more tragic times is at funerals. Secrets have a way of coming out at funerals. People and events come out that you and they thought were well hidden.
A grandfather’s funeral is not the place for a grandmother to find out that her husband had been cheating on her for years. It was a devastating blow, made all the worse by the timing.
The grandmother wasn’t the only one to suffer in this situation. I’ve heard of several other people who have discovered their spouse’s affair at a funeral.
That secret may be children you weren’t aware of or a hidden lover. When those secrets show up at the funeral it rocks your world. You can’t always control who or what shows up during those times when you are emotionally vulnerable. Confronting such an uncomfortable truth at such a time of vulnerability makes the hurt go deeper.
Discovering an affair at that time changes how you view your life together. It changes the lens you look at them, yourself, and your relationship.
Beating on the body and screaming at it won’t give you answers. They took their secret to the grave with them. Pleading and begging with them falls on silent ears.
Discovering an affair at a funeral also brings a shock. At a time when you’re emotionally vulnerable, the shock wave hits you. Being hit with such a shock at this time is overwhelming.
The funeral limits your options. One of those options was the ability to get your questions answered from them. To have a chance to confront them about what you found and to get closure. Now that they are gone, you may never know the truth.
At this time, you wonder what you can do. One thing you can do is come to grips with the situation. You can’t change what happened, but there are things you can change.
In the video, “Overcoming the Affair Crisis”, I share with you ways of coming to grips with this kind of shocking revelation. At that time, you are definitely in a crisis.
You need a way to get out of bed and get on with life. Adjusting to life after a funeral is tough enough. Adding infidelity to the mix only pushes you over the edge.
You don’t have to let this new revelation overshadow things. You can find your way with some extra help that I share with you in the video.
You may not be able to fix your marriage at those times, but you can fix your life, your heart and mind.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
