Affairs cloud your thinking. The cloud covers the cheater, the lover and the rejected spouse. Clouded thinking keeps everyone from feeling what they are experiencing and from seeing what’s really going on.
The cloud is one way denial keeps you immobilized. When your thinking is clouded it keeps you from taking action.
The cloud keeps you focused on emotions rather than facts. When you are focused on feelings, you’re easier to manipulate and control.
It also keeps you from really connecting with the cheater. It keeps any honest and straight forward discussion of the affair or of your marriage from taking place.
There are also many who want to keep the cloud going. Pharmaceutical companies thrive on people not wanting to deal with their pain.
Pain is the best friend of drug dealers and pill pushers. They know that many of you would rather drug yourself or take medications rather than face what’s going on.
They will commiserate with you to connect with your pain, then offer you more drugs to keep you from feeling it.
Besides the drug dealers, pill pushers and other charlatans who work with you in keeping your thinking and emotions cloudy, there will also be friends and family members who want to keep you from ‘rocking the boat’. They say and do things to keep you and the cheater from taking any action.
Their agenda is keeping the denial of problems going and avoiding pain by what they say and do. Pain makes things messy. They want as little mess as possible.
There are also ‘exploiters’ benefiting from the affair and the cloudy thinking. These exploiters may be patrons of the local strip club, political hacks, judges or some of the community movers and shakers who do not want to feel guilty about affairs, since it may mean that they would have to make changes.
Rather than make changes, they work at keeping the ‘status quo’ by use of secrets, rumors and selectively ignoring things.
I mention the above groups, since those around you want to keep the cloudy thinking going. You need to recognize this before taking steps to remove the cloudy thinking.
The cloudy thinking is definitely your enemy. Before you can totally remove that enemy, you need to remove the support systems keeping the cloudy thinking going.
Cloudy thinking thrives on drugs, alcohol, poor self care and poor nutrition. Any kind of passive lifestyle tends to numb out your mind and keep the cloudy thinking lasting longer than it needs to.
Part of the cloudy thinking is denial and avoidance. The cheater will not want to face those things. They want to avoid pain and responsibility. The cloudy thinking is part of their avoidance.
Best Regards,
Jeff
