Prior to the arrival of hurricane Harvey, I spent the week bouncing between ICU and the waiting room at Clear Lake Medical Center. Dealing with a family member in the hospital filled my life with stress as I tried comforting them.
I found sitting in the waiting room quite a classroom. I saw lesson upon lesson illustrated in the lives of those waiting there. Around you are lessons and instructions if you’re willing to learn.
One of the lessons I learned is that when a family member is hurting or in need, you make choices. In most cases you make choices of doing ‘whatever it takes’ in caring for your loved one.
I didn’t see anyone who was relieved that their loved one was hurting or dying. There were no celebrations in the waiting room about how anyone ‘got what’s coming to them‘.
When you’re faced with losing your spouse, you look at the world differently. It changes your focus and your priorities.
The things that used to fill your daily routine suddenly don’t matter. The only thing you care about is your spouse and squeezing out some more time.
Your time priorities change. They change for spouses and families.
No one was there trying to sell us on things to improve our lives such as vitamins, Amway, new cars or condominiums. The focus of everyone was on their spouses and loved ones.
Even though the TV was on, few people watched it for more than a few minutes. They didn’t care what was on or which news station it was. Their focus was elsewhere.
It was surreal. With the threat of a hurricane approaching, their focus was not on their homes or personal belongings, it was on their loved one.
The lesson was that when you’re about to lose your spouse, those other things don’t matter. Your attention becomes laser focused on your spouse. It means the world to you that they recognize you or say something to you.
When it’s an affair threatening your marriage, is your concern on your marriage? When your marriage relationship is in danger, do you have the same amount of concern for your spouse? Do you long for a return of connection with them?
Are you taking the ‘whatever it takes’ approach to the threat of losing your spouse when you’re dealing with an affair?
These are tough questions, but this is a tough matter. You find out how important your marriage really is to you during such times as an affair.
You find out if you’re willing to do what it takes to get a little more time with your spouse. Others only do what it takes to reduce their guilt.
The downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop” guides you through what you need in recovering from an affair. You can have all the tools, techniques and direction you need in turning your marriage around. Rather than losing your spouse to the lover, you can change how things go.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
