If you asked your spouse, “Do you believe in Gumby?” they’ll give give you a puzzled look and wonder if you’ve lost your mind. They’ll probably ask in reply “What is Gumby?”
Having grown up in the sixties, I grew up with the character known as Gumby. Gumby was a green clay humanoid creature who had adventures.
During his adventure, he’d always bend or change shape in meeting some challenge he was facing. In some ways, he was the ultimate in flexibility and accommodation. There were even flexible Gumby toys as well.
I mention Gumby in association with cheaters since they often bend and mold their values in accommodating their situation. Whatever sense of right and wrong they have is twisted to accommodate their ‘special’ affair situation.
The cheater talks about their concept of God, or higher power. They may even actually be God fearing. Whatever their concept is, they have managed to twist and distort the rules and behavior to make themselves an ‘exception’.
They may even go so far as to say “Affairs are not right, but people deserve to be happy” or “Sure God does not approve of affairs, but He understands me” or they may go so far as to take the position that “God does not intervene in my activities.”
This last one is often accompanied by scoffing comments about how they have not seen lightning bolts and the earth has not opened up under them.
For this reason, I pose the question, “Do you believe in Gumby?” Gumby is bent and molded to fit whatever needs the cheater may find themselves. Gumby is green, which eliminates any claims of preferences or bias.
Since the character is made of clay, he’s always flexing in accommodating any situation that comes along. He’s the definition of flexible.
The way many cheaters act, they want a Gumby. They want all the flexibility and adaptability. The green guy also doesn’t hold them accountable for anything they’ve done. The no-guilt Gumby is a model for what they believe.
The way out of this Gumby mentality is not more of it. You becoming more flexible in dealing with them is not the answer. You making accommodation for their affair and disloyalty is not the answer.
The way out is to do the opposite of Gumby. You need firmness, you need stability and clarity in order to hold them accountable.
Best Regards,
Jeff
2 Responses
I enjoyed the Gumby cartoon…..but I do not enjoy the “Gumby” tours that destroy others lives as well as their own by twisted scripture or mushy morality
The cartoon is different because it’s fantasy and sometimes funny…..distorted reality in human relations is neither fun nor funny …at least not for families damaged for the accommodating two selfish people
Zaza,
I am glad that you enjoyed the Gumby. I thought that Gumby was the embodiment of the way people want bendable and pliable morality. I thought about stretch Armstrong, Mr. Bill and a couple other ways of illustrating the matter, but Gumby won out. He is the personification of flexibility in so many ways.