One of the dangers that come with affairs is the risk of stalking. Each of the parties involved in an affair (the lover, the cheater and the betrayed) are at risk for either being stalked or stalking.
Since affairs excite passions, those same aroused passions put you at risk of obsessing. That obsessing easily turns into stalking.
Stalking can happen with physical or emotional affairs. It even happens when someone wants to have an affair with you or you with them.
What may have started as simple curiosity morphs into an appetite to continue knowing more. At that point, the more you know, the more you want to know. The obsession turns into some form of stalking.
At first you want to know MORE. Since knowledge gives you the illusion of power in a situation where your power is limited, you want more of it.
The more you give into the urge to know more, the greater control it has over you. At first you make choices of when to give in.
Stalking deceives you into thinking you’re in control. Your thinking and your life starts revolving around the object of your stalking. It’s way beyond being a fan boy of the object of your obsession.
If there are any control issues in your life history, the stalking has was of activating old fears, fantasies and obsessions. Stalking finds a way of working its way into your head.
Over time, the urge starts telling you what to do. The urge to stalk can grow to the point of where it takes control of your mind. At that point, your mind starts obsessing without you making that choice.
Stalking also comes in many forms, from physically stalking to hiring private eyes, to stalking them across the internet. With today’s technology, you can track their travels, phone use and more.
When you’re unfortunate enough to be the victim, stalking is a nightmare. Even when you’re not being stalked, you imagine that the stalker is lurking. Your own mind turns against you in those circumstances.
Stalking is frightening for not only you, but also your family. The longer the stalking continues, the more it expands to other areas.
Even after an affair ends, the risk of stalking remains. In some cases, it’s about not letting go and in other situations, it’s about making sure it’s over. Either way, one party continues struggling with closure.
Stalking also leaves its victims feeling traumatized. When stalkers have a history of being traumatized themselves, the stalking sticks around like a stubborn stain.
In my video on “Overcoming Affair Trauma”, I share ways of healing from traumatic events like being stalked. Affairs have ways of triggering earlier life traumas.
Instead of wrestling with the fears and doubts, you can put what happened behind.
Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
