I make it a point to talk with my wife about messages I receive regarding affairs and relationships. It always helps hearing her insight on matters.
The one today conveyed deep hurt. How do you handle a situation where your husband or wife proclaims they’ll never tell you they love you again?
I share with my wife how saying such a thing is hard to fathom. Just hearing about the episode had my stomach churning.
I know the old expression about revenge being a dish best served cold. This particular situation falls into that category.
Being told such a statement by your spouse sends a message of rejection, selfishness and withholding all at the same time. If you’re on the receiving end, how do you know which part you respond to?
They refuse giving you affection and acknowledgement of their love to you. Even if they felt it, they’re holding back saying it. This is punishing!
Such an action is disturbing, de-humanizing and belittling. Whatever the motivation was behind it, taking the position intentionally disrupts the relationship.
It’s an act of selfishness on the part of the one saying it. At the same time, it de-values you when you’re on the receiving end.
This kind of behavior is traumatizing! It’s beyond just pushing away. It’s tantamount to pushing you down, stomping on you and then spitting on you.
If you’ve gone through such a situation, it’s a pain that’s not easily forgotten. I can’t remove that pain, but I can help you reduce its effects.
There are things you can do in reducing the damage from such incidents. In the video on “Overcoming Affair Trauma“, I guide you in putting those kinds of painful episodes behind you.
You no longer have to be defined by what others say about you and did to you. Who you are is more than what happened to you. With help, you can move past such incidents.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
