In a small town affairs present unique challenges. Among those challenges is dealing with the loyalties. Many times secrets are kept in place by a series of loyalties. Out of loyalty to one or more of the parties, little is said. The assumption is that in order to ‘keep the peace’ one keeps their mouth shut. Even though that is the assumption, many people know about who is sleeping with who. Although it is common knowledge as to who is sleeping with who, a wall of silence exists between those who know and the spouse who is kept in the dark. This wall of silence is often built on loyalties.
Loyalty may have its place in politics and union negotiations, but it is destructive to marriages. Since it is destructive to marriages, it is also destructive to the community as well. Even though a temporary peace is in place, any sense of security or stability is merely an illusion.
The strength of loyalty bonds are often very strong. It may not necessarily be a loyalty to the adulterer, but rather to the person who revealed the secret to them. These loyalties and secrets are often used by the local businesses and organizations as a way of keeping their members in line. Cooperation by subterfuge is manipulation. Although it looks like teamwork and cooperation, it is anything but. Healthy communities need healthy marriages.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
