You’ve probably heard the saying “Let sleeping dogs lie”, and when it comes to affair relationships, it’s absolutely true. Those old dormant relationships are best left alone.
Let me tell you about Lynn. She did everything she could to attract David, a man who was already married. Since they worked together, she had plenty of opportunities to catch his attention. She would drop suggestive comments and touch him in the office, creating a seductive atmosphere with her perfume. It was only a matter of time before he noticed her.
Once she had his attention, Lynn sealed the deal by dressing seductively, providing alcohol, and getting a hotel room. She reveled in her conquest. She enjoyed the thrill of arousing him, and it wasn’t about love for her, but rather adding another notch to her bedpost. David was just a plaything to her.
David was an attractive man and Lynn enjoyed the challenge of winning him over. She knew how to grab men’s attention, and David was an easy target since his wife was busy with their young children. He craved female attention and an ego boost, and Lynn saw her opportunity.
She knew about David’s family and his marriage, but none of that mattered to her. All she cared about was getting David for herself.
When David’s affair was discovered, he admitted his mistake and returned to his wife. They both worked on improving their marriage and David committed to focusing on his wife. They believed the affair was in the past.
But in 2023, Lynn resurfaced. Despite the affair happening back in 2010, she began calling David again, constantly and with a renewed intensity. Not only that, but she also started sending suggestive and explicit pictures of herself. The old flame was back, and now it was more threatening than ever.
Dealing with someone like Lynn can be incredibly frustrating. Just when you thought they were out of your life and marriage, they come back seeking revenge. So how do you and your spouse handle these threats?
Old lovers have a knack for knowing exactly how to get under your skin. They know the triggers and they know how to use them to invade your personal space. That’s why I say “It’s not over when it’s over” when it comes to affairs. There’s always a possibility that people like Lynn will try to worm their way back into your life.
They’ll slither in any way they can, like a snake. This means that relapsing into the affair is a real risk, even years later. Recognizing the early warning signs of relapse in your spouse or even in yourself can help you stop people like Lynn before they go too far.
It’s not as simple as blocking phone numbers or unfriending people on social media. Strong threats require strong interventions. Even though the affair may have happened 10, 15, or 20 years ago, those old feelings can still be triggered by the lover. The connections in the brain are still there, waiting to be reactivated with the flick of a switch.
But you don’t have to feel helpless. You can take action. Watch the Preventing affair relapse webinar and follow our recommendations. This will arm you with the tools you need to deal with any threat from old flames.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
