When it comes to affairs and family relationships there are times you find yourself asking “How long will the anger go on?” You’re tired of dealing with it and wonder how much longer it can go on.
It may be your anger or the betrayer’s anger. The cheater often takes out their anger on the betrayed for what they did.
When it comes to anger related to an affair, there’s no definitive answer as to how long it will continue. Some spouses have found ways of recharging their anger in ways that would make a lithium battery jealous.
They blow up in anger, only to recharge themselves and blow up again in a never ending pattern.
All it takes is a reminder of the truth and their anger is activated once more in all its intensity. They’re re-experiencing the rage all over again.
When this happens, there are secondary benefits to them getting angry. In some cases, they enjoy the rush that the anger gives them. That rush provides them with a feeling of POWER.
Power gives them influence in conflict that their interpersonal skills and cooperation never did. With anger, they can have it “My” way.
It gives them a sensation of being ‘in control’ even though they’re losing control. This is one of the paradoxes of anger. What the angry person feels and believes deceives them.
They would rather live with the delusion that they control the world with their anger. They are so caught up in their own beliefs and anger that they don’t see the damage their anger has done to you.
In their mind, it’s more important that they vent rather than considering how it hurts you and leaves you wounded. They insist on believing the lies rather than acknowledging and accepting the truth.
That kind of experience leaves you feeling like you are emotionally bleeding out, while they go on their unhappy way. This kind of experience is traumatic for those going through it.
Whether its feels like being blasted, cut, stabbed or choked out, it’s still traumatic for you. Those kinds of traumas leave emotional scars on your mind and emotions.
Recovering from the affair includes healing from such wounding as well. In the video “Overcoming Affair Trauma”, I share ways of moving past these kinds of trauma experiences.
You don’t have to continue living like a victim. You can move past that if you’re ready for healing.
You don’t have to continue letting their anger control you and cowering every time they raise their voice.
Order your copy today and start recovering for yourself and your own mental health.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
