One place that I’ve learned many life lessons in is garages. from when my grandfather worked on vehicles to getting my own vehicles serviced garages have been a classroom of life instruction. One of those lessons is the importance of dealing with the cause of the problem, rather than just hiding the problems.
Cars are unforgiving in that way. If you don’t really ‘fix’ the source of the problem, it comes back. No amount of oil, grease or WD-40 makes it go away.
The lubricants hide the tell-tale squeak or noise, but they don’t fix the problem. If you want the car to do what it’s supposed to do, you have to fix the problem.
When it comes to affairs, you may be making a terrible mistake. You may think that because the affair ended that the problem is fixed.
Thinking that the affair is over when the cheater quits seeing the lover is a fatal mistake. The affair isn’t over when it’s over.
When it comes to affairs, if you want healing, you’ll eventually face the source of the problem. The affair is the symptom. Like the irritating squeak, it results from some other source.
The fatal mistake couples make is ‘not removing the cause of the affair’.
Long before the affair happened, decisions were made and thoughts entertained about having affair. Those thoughts set things in motion. Likewise after the cheater quits seeing the lover, those root causes still need fixing.
There’s a HUGE difference between making the pain go away and removing the cause of the pain. Doctor’s don’t fix cars and mechanics don’t do surgery. So using a doctor answer of removing the pain rather than fixing the problem isn’t a lasting solution.
Those root causes are problems that don’t fix themselves. They don’t just go away over time. There were reasons for the affair and leaving those reasons unfixed is asking for trouble.
If your whatever your are doing for recovery doesn’t address Affair Relapse, you’re asking for trouble. If your recovery doesn’t include a relapse prevention plan that is worked on daily basis, you’re asking for trouble.
Ignoring the causes of the affair mounts to driving a broken car with earphones and a blindfold. You’re assuming that since you don’t hear the noises or see the problem that they don’t exist.
The truth is, the cause of the affair still needs attention.
The video, “Preventing Affair Relapse” guides you in putting together a relapse prevention plan. You can know what a good workable plan needs.
You’ll also learn ways of dealing with triggers and working your way through daily events in uncovering high risk situations.
Affair relapse means that the root cause wasn’t fixed. There are still unresolved items needing attention.
Best Regards,
Jeff
