Affairs are events filled with tragedies. Everyone touched by the affairs experiences loss. You experience loss, the cheater loses out and your children lose out.
touched by the affairs experiences loss. You experience loss, the cheater loses out and your children lose out. Affairs are filled with losses and losers.
Those losses leave scars on the lives it touches. There are scars from the loss itself. In addition to those scars are the self-inflicted ones.
The self-inflicted scars are the damaging messages used in the aftermath of the affair. In some cases, the self-inflicted scars are actual physical cuttings. Either way, the damage is real.
Part of the self-inflicted scars is the messages victims tell themselves about how they are unwanted or unlovable based on the affair. Those messages amount to you beating yourself up based on the cheater making bad choices.
Putting yourself down based on the cheater’s choices is self-defeating. It’s also being judgemental toward yourself and letting the cheater off. It amounts to viewing yourself as ‘damaged goods’ as punishment for the cheater’s affair. They did wrong, but you devalue yourself.
They made a bad choice with the affair. The affair doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable, undesirable, or unworthy of love.
Your rush to judgment about your worth and value is a lie your telling yourself and believing. As part of affair recovery, it’s essential that you reject those lies and distortions of the truth.
It’s not helping yourself to believe the lies. At those times you want someone or something to blame.
Blaming yourself gives you a way of venting your frustrations, but it’s based on a lie. You don’t want others lying to you so you shouldn’t do it to yourself.
Those self-inflicted wounds aren’t doing anyone any good. Punishing yourself isn’t going to get your marriage back. It also isn’t going to make you feel better about yourself.
‘Telling yourself the truth’ is what will help rather than believing the lies told to you by the cheater or yourself.
In the video, “Getting Past the Affair Crisis”, I share with you ways of taking care of yourself along with the importance of telling yourself the truth.
What has believing the lies gotten you? Is your life better with the lies?
If the lies haven’t improved things, then now is the time to start telling yourself the truth the “Getting Past the Affair Crisis” and the material inside.
Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
