One incident can completely change your perspective on people and things. When I was a teenager, I invited my neighbor, Ricky, over to play a game of Monopoly. But what happened next was unexpected and shocking.
During the game, Ricky pulled out a pocket knife and started stabbing the monopoly money. I was completely taken aback by his actions. I had invited him over to play a friendly game, not to witness this bizarre behavior.
Unable to ignore his actions any longer, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I tackled Ricky so forcefully that we crashed into the wall, causing damage to the sheetrock. Since that incident, my view of monopoly money has never been the same. Ricky’s actions forever altered my experience of playing the game.
Before that incident, I used to enjoy playing Monopoly. But now, there’s a shadow cast over my enjoyment of the game. Ricky’s behavior tainted my love for it.
When you think about the things you enjoy, certain commonalities arise. One of those commonalities is the presence of enjoyable interactions. Whether these interactions are real or imagined, they play a crucial role in shaping what we like.
The more positive interactions we have with something or someone, the more fondly we view it. Conversely, when these interactions become unpleasant, our feelings can shift to boredom or negativity.
These principles extend to our relationships with people as well. Even in romantic partnerships, having pleasant interactions is essential. In fact, playing together can significantly enhance marital happiness and fulfillment.
When couples stop playing together, problems can arise. Play can take many forms and can be incorporated into daily life. However, when a cheater’s actions disrupt the playfulness in a relationship, everything changes.
An affair is not just a betrayal; it disrupts the very foundation of playfulness and safety in a relationship. You begin to question whether your spouse is someone you can truly play with and trust.
Just like a childhood friend who destroyed your toys, you become hesitant to share anything with your spouse. For me, I never played Monopoly with Ricky Gardner again after that incident.
When a cheater hurts you, it affects your ability to engage in playful activities. Since play and liking go hand in hand, the absence of play can severely impact your feelings towards your spouse.
Rebuilding trust is just the beginning; you also need to restore the sense of liking and playfulness in your relationship. It’s difficult to truly enjoy your spouse when the two of you are not in sync and playful with each other.
In the “Affair Recovery Workshop” available for download, you will discover strategies for opening up conversations with your spouse. Only when you can openly discuss topics like play and expectations can you begin to rebuild the kind of marriage you both need.
The affair may have caused significant damage, but through communication and rebuilding, you can create a strong and fulfilling marriage once again.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
