Years ago at a meeting of the Texas Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, one of the speakers made the statement, “Men who have affairs are stupid and women who have affairs are evil“. At the time I heard the statement, I was stunned.
I couldn’t believe the blunt frankness of the statement. Over the years, those words have rung truer with each case of adultery I encounter.
I recalled that statement when one of you wanted to know if affairs were a form of self-sabotage. The simple answer is “yes“. Although they’re a form of self-sabotage, the motivation behind sabotaging often varies.
The rate of self-sabotage also varies. Although you may expect God to immediately strike cheaters and their lovers down with lightning bolts or illness.
When that instant punishment doesn’t happen, you think that God isn’t listening to your prayers and pleadings. Since there was no action, you assume you’re being ignored again. You forget that wanting instant gratification of desires is part of what led to the affair in the first place.
You’re in good company. Jonah was disappointed when God didn’t strike Nineveh, and Paul repeatedly asked for healing, which never came. Both of these men were spiritual, yet their prayers weren’t answered in the way they wanted.
The punishment for the affair will come, as will the sabotage. They not only will come, they will come at the right time.
Some of you may refer to it as ‘karma’ or ’cause and effect’ or ‘natural consequences’. Whatever you call it, the consequences will arrive.
The sabotage will happen. It may not happen in ways the cheater ever imagined or you imagined. You can rest assured that it’ll happen.
When you have an affair, you trigger a series of self-defeating behaviors or ‘sabotage’ that will prevent the relationship and you from being who you could’ve been and the relationship from being what it could’ve been.
In other words, you miss out on potentials that could’ve been.
Cheaters are so caught up in the passion that they don’t realize how they are sabotaging their own lives, reputations and health. The sad part is that the consequences often end up hurting many more people than just the cheater.
If you’ve made the error of cheating, don’t give up. You can still turn things around. The video “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery” guides you in turning things around.
The series of ’cause and effect’ events can be interrupted. You can stop karma before it stops you.
Best Regards,
Jeff
