When you find yourself lost in the fog that happens with cheating, it is a miserable experience. You feel lost, unable to think clearly, lethargic, restless and directionless. Although you may want to think that it is just about the affair, you recognize at some level, that it is more than that. You have lost your identify and yourself.
It is a time of soul searching. You find yourself asking questions, hard questions. questions about marriage, what it means to be a spouse, what you expect of yourself and your spouse, what your values are, and other more existential areas.
During this time, you need real answers, real direction. Fluffy sounding words may tickle your mind, but they do not lead you out of the fog. The fog will eventually lift.
Some ways to reduce the fog include:
1. Live life one day at a time. Trying to think too far into the future only creates more confusion.
2. Keep up with your self-care. Bathe, exercise and do things to take care of yourself. This includes shaving.
3. Having a daily routine will help you regain your bearings.
4. Avoid alcohol and mind-altering chemicals. These may take away the pain, but they make the fog worse.
5. Go for walks. Being out in nature often helps with the fog. Getting fresh air helps get more oxygen into your body.
6. Make sure you are getting enough sleep. Staying up late and trying to function on too little sleep worsens the fog.
7. Breathe! Make it a point to periodically stop during the day and take 5 deep breaths. The oxygen will revitalize you and help you think better.
In doing these things, you may think that they are too simple or that it won’t bring your spouse back, or…etc. You need to take care of yourself first. You need to make sure that you are thinking clearly and functioning before you worry about getting them back or loosing them. Get your head on first before you start thinking for your spouse.
Best Regards,
Jeff
