Will you recognize that something was unspeakably twisted when it happens? What about when it happens to your relationship or your marriage?
When the unspeakably twisted happens, it will shock you. That shock will likely be more about when it happened than the fact that it happened.
When I found myself facing my own ‘unspeakably twisted’ situation 33 years ago, my mind went numb.The shocking news turned me dumbfounded. That sense of dumfoundedness is what makes such situations unspeakable. There is no word or words that can express the shock and disbelief.
I was at a total loss for words to describe what I just discovered. All the way home I didn’t speak, didn’t want to speak and probably couldn’t speak. Nothing could convey the sensation.
I could never imagine myself facing such a situation. It was totally outside of my comfort zone, contrary to my values along with societal norms. Being outside of any mental or moral reference points is what made the situation ‘twisted’.
I found myself having creating new categories in my thinking just to process the twisted situation. The twisted aspect forced me to face that there are some really sick people out there who I let into my life.
I was mad at them for what they were doing. I was mad at myself for allowing that person get that close to me. “How could I be so stupid?” “How could I not see this coming?”
What was happening was a total rewiring of norms, values and any kind of standards. It was unnatural by any measure I was aware of. There was no other word than ‘twisted’. I wondered “How could she do this to me?”
I realized I could not see it coming because I never thought like she did.
My mind was telling myself “This is not happening, this is not happening”, yet there it was in front of me. It is happening whether or not my mind want to accept it. I can say the words of what happened, yet there is still an unbelief behind them.
I can only imagine the struggle you experience finding yourself face to face with your own version of the “Unspeakably Twisted”. When you have a hard time accepting or believing that it is happening, how will you be able to tell others about it? How can you talk about something that you are at a loss for words to describe?
When such an event happens, and you feel slammed against the wall, it often takes a while before you open up or feel comfortable discussing it. When that unspeakable thing is an affair, you are in a bind. You do not want to discuss it, yet since it is happening in your marriage right now, you have to. Because it hits home, in your bedroom, you have to deal with something you do not want to deal with, and in many cases, do not have the energy to deal with.
Some affairs are so “twisted” that you will find yourself at a loss for words. How will you ever be able to convey what is going on to your counselor or pastor, when you can’t even believe it happened? You may even blame yourself for not seeing it coming.
When the “Unspeakably Twisted” happens, you will not see it coming. The unbelievable aspect is what blindsides you. There is hope though. The Affair Crisis video is for you if you are recently dealing with one of these ‘unbelievable twisted’ situations. You need to regain your mind, and this can help you.
Best Regards,
Jeff
