In Panama City, Florida, Andre fatally choked his fiancee after discovering her repeated cheating. In an interview, he told the news, “The cheating I could deal with, but can’t deal with lying.”
When you’re cheated on, it brings strong feelings. It’s as if the bad news has been wrapped in strong feelings. Everything suddenly becomes INTENSE. You feel things inside stronger than you’ve felt them before.
When that is happening, you often have little tolerance for lies or dancing around what happened. In Andre’s case, he felt desperate. “I had to choke her”.
Andre went to the extreme of fatally choking his fiancee. You may think that he was ‘over the top’, yet some of you know what he’s talking about. From responses to the Affair Recovery Survey, a number of you know what it’s like to feel homicidal or suicidal related to an affair.
When those feelings grab you, they take you for a ride. In some cases, it’s a ride you may never come back from.
In Andre’s case, the lying is what set him off. Lies often trigger strong reactions. Human nature is such that you may want revenge more for what seems like the smaller things than the bigger things like the affair.
The cheater may consider lies something that hurts no one, or tell you that they’re doing it to ‘protect you’. When you’re enraged, such claims of protecting you only irritate you further. It’s like adding an insult to the wound you’re already feeling.
Rather than allow your emotions to build up pressure until something bad happens, you’ll want to consider options that can turn things around. The Affair Recovery Workshop deals with the affair, the lies, the broken trust and breaking the patterns of affairs.
The workshop and its solutions will give you more options than resorting to yelling and violence. Those things may provide you a release, but they don’t get to the root of the problem or give you other options.
Andre couldn’t deal with the lying and felt that he had to choke his fiancee. When the intense feelings control you, they have a firm grip. Rather than get caught by those feelings, take action now, before they take over.
Best Regards,
Jeff
