Whenever I make major purchases I make it a point of finding out the right questions to ask. Knowing the right questions to ask makes huge differences.
This means I research the considered purchase along with the questions people ask about it. I’ve researched things like roofing products, flooring, cars and mobile hot spots.
I recently considered a bathroom faucet purchase. On checking the reviews, I discovered that the faucet I had my eyes on had a design problem and was prone to growing black mold.
Not knowing much about faucets, this alerted me to the importance of considering the actual design of the faucet rather than aesthetics and material used for construction.
The sad part is that this is a skill that came about from making mistakes. It’s from being burned that I’ve learned the importance of the right questions.
I should have known better. Back in my hospital practice days, I knew that any test is only as good as the question it answers.
If you want more useful information, you need better questions. The better the questions, the more the useful information you find.
Questions shape your focus. In asking the wrong questions, your focus is on the wrong areas. When purchasing a product, the wrong question directs your attention to the weaker features.
Although consumer reports and other so-called watch dog groups provide information for help. Their help is only as good as the questions you ask.
This also applies to affairs and getting help in dealing with them. If your questions consist of “how long will this take?” or “How much will it cost?“, it shapes your focus.
If your questions are “What will best improve our marriage?” or “What will it take to rekindle intimacy?”, you’ll find very different answers. The different answers come from considering different questions.
Even the questions you ask your spouse are important. The questions you ask shape the direction of the conversation. They give signals about what you are seeking and ways of responding to you.
If your conversations are not what you wanted, it could be that you’re asking the wrong questions.
Your questions are about more than just obtaining information. They are training your mind and pointing it in the direction your relationship is headed.
This is why I made it a point of including a section on questions to ask in the “Affair Recovery Workshop”. Your questions matter more than you realize.
Best Regards,
Jeff
