Having gone through the nightmare of being stalked, I still carry some of the scars. I cringe anytime I have to give my home address or phone number out.
Although I’ve worked through many of them, there are some scars that activate when touched the wrong way.
I know in my mind that my stalker is no longer a threat, yet there’s still a guardedness about being in vulnerable situations. I know it’s nothing more than the old tapes being replayed, yet my body remembers the experience.
If you’ve ever dealt with a stalker, you know what I’m talking about. Since affairs have a way of attracting unhealthy people into your life, the risk of encountering a stalker increases with affairs.
It’s as if their obsessions trigger negative obsessions within you. Obsessive thinking is contagious, and hard to get rid of.
If lovers and cheaters were healthy, functional people, the risk of stalking would be minimal. Since that’s not the case, there’s always the risk of encountering one.
Someone may be stalking you electronically or watching everything you do. Hacking has become the newest peeping tom activity.
In my case, there were frequent drive-bys along with veiled threats toward my pets, hang-up calls and general lurking. With the use of the internet, stalking has become more precise and invasive.
High Tech stalkers now have ways of discovering your family members, your hobbies, your friends and track your comings and goings from their computer or phone screen. When your high tech stalker is a police officer or works for the legal system, they bring a whole new level of invasive spying into your life.
High Tech stalkers also know how to use gadgets that track you without you even being aware of it. They know when you and your spouse are most vulnerable.
The combination of affair desperation and high tech hacking skills mean that you’ve got your hands full when it comes to saving your marriage and your sanity.
Surviving such an ordeal leaves you hesitant about trusting. You may even find yourself always scanning your surroundings and questioning whatever people tell you in the back of your mind.
Surviving stalking impacts your ability to trust others again. Once you’ve been stalked, you question motives and anytime others try getting close to you. Those scars don’t go away once the affair is over.
Learning to trust again is part of what you can do in helping yourself recover from what you’ve endured.
In the video, “How Can I Trust You Again?”, you can learn ways of rebuilding the trust you lost. You can learn what the ingredients of trust are and ways of improving them in your own life.
If you’ve experience difficulty in trusting others, you can start regaining the ability to trust others once again.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
