When ambivalence hits after an affair, some people assume that something is wrong with them. They wonder if it’s normal having feelings of love and hate (or loathing, disgust, revulsion) at the same time.
Feeling torn and having mixed feelings is natural after what you’ve been through. Your emotions are catching up to the crazy situation you’ve been through.
Emotions don’t follow the same rules as facts or logic as your mind does. Emotions don’t sort the world into boxes of what is good or what is bad.
Having the mixture of feelings is common in dealing with the kind of events associated with an affair. These mixed feelings will continue until action is taken and decisions are made.
When decisions are made and commitments are engaged, the ambivalent feelings begin fading.
Feelings serve as an early warning system for our hearts. The mixed feelings indicate that there is some conflict in the relationships that are important to us.
Recognize that the ambivalence will come and that it’s normal and natural. During that time, avoid making major decisions since the emotions color the decisions that are made. It won’t last forever.
As you go through those mixed times, it helps having a place where you can talk through what you’re feeling. The support community at Restored Lifestyle is a place where you can do that and have access to videos, ebooks and other resources for helping you through this part of your journey.
Best Regards,
Jeff
2 Responses
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Mechelle,
Thank you for stopping by. I am glad that you enjoy the rare information. I often thought it was common knowledge, yet I find that common knowledge and common sense are not so common any more.