“Homewrecker”. The word is used to label the other man or woman caught up in the drama triangle of an affair. The label is used to stigmatize that person, blame them for the destruction of the family and make them an outcast. This scenario is all too common. The reality is that they are not the ‘true’ homewrecker. Labeling the other person with such a name only serves to displace the guilt and pain. The actual person or persons who wreck the family are elsewhere.
Who is the actual homewrecker? To answer that, consider who has the power to dissolve the marriage. Only the judge can dissolve the marriage. The judge is the only one with the power to do so. Although the judge officially dissolves what God had joined, who brought it to the judge? The lawyer is the one who presented the case and situation to the judge. The lawyers often agitate the situation in order to break things up. The divorce lawyer and their client are the actual homewreckers. The legal profession has done such a good job of spin, they are not identified as the homewrecker, although they are the ones who make it happen. It is easier to market yourself as a divorce lawyer seeking the benefit of your client than it is to way “we wreck homes and ruin families”. Lawyers have ruined more families than whores, gigolos, and sexual addicts ever dreamed of. What makes it worse, they do it with self-righteousness of ‘preserving the rights’ and ‘upholding the law’. If the legal profession went back to thinking through their actions, and only taking cases based on moral convictions, rather than what pays, there would be a reduction in divorces. They justify what they do saying they are only representing the wishes of their clients. Could it be that clients do not want what is best for themselves? Could the clients be wanting something that is wrong? When the affair happened, didn’t someone want something that was wrong?
Before jumping to the assumption that the other person is the homewrecker, think through who is actually taking steps to dismantle and destroy the family? Sex alone can not destroy a family. Filing for divorce can destroy a family. Labeling the other person the homewrecker only serves to shift the blame around and let someone not feel guilty for actually ripping the family apart.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
