Yesterday I began talking about the importance of having a clear conscience in dealing with affairs. The topic is one that needs more than one post addressing it.
In seeking after a clear conscience, the two of you will need to settle any past wrongs you’ve done to each other in the past. As long as those remain unresolved, it interferes with being open with each other.
One of the big mistakes is thinking that it happened so long ago, it doesn’t matter. When the two of you are working at healing the broken intimacy between you, those past events do matter.
This means that each of you need to ‘come clean’ about past lies and wrongs done toward each other. I know that each of you aren’t perfect.
Even though you’re not perfect, the two of you can have clear consciences with each other. Hiding things in your past from your spouse is a sure way of damaging the intimacy between the two of you.
It leaves you wondering if there are other secrets behind the locked doors of your mind.
You may have lied about past relationships, hidden financial choices or what happened with your friends. Even though you think it’s none of your spouse’s business, in recovering from the affair, your marriage needs a new standard of honesty and truthfulness.
You tried it your way. Did doing it your way work?
You may be ashamed of things in your past. Those old secrets have ways of trapping you even though they happened years ago. The longer you keep them hidden, the more power they exert over you.
Recovery also means the two of you need to work together in moving past the hurts each of you have been carrying. This includes the hurts from your childhood as well.
The more the two of you can work together the more will be accomplished. Together the two of you can move past many of those old hurts.
In the video on “Overcoming Affair Trauma“, I guide you through ways of bringing healing to many of those old past hurts and the ones related to the affair.
Order your copy today and start recovering from those past issues. The two of you can move past this better together than separately.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
