One of the leading anthropologist researchers made that observation that “language influences how we think”. In his studies of cultures, he found that there is more to language that just the sounds coming out of out mouths. His observations also have applications concerning affairs and cheating. There will often be changes in thinking and language prior to an affair taking place. Many times, spouses either ignore or dismiss these changes in language. Had the spouses picked up on those changes, they could have prevented some major events.
In terms of changes to look for, it is necessary to listen carefully to what spouses say. Listen for changes in how they use ‘personal pronouns’. The pronouns to attend to are the ones used in referring to the couple. Where there was once frequent use of ‘we’ , ‘us’ and ‘ours’, the words and tense change to ‘yours’, ‘mine’, ‘she/he’, ‘hers’, and ‘his’.
Listen for changes in references of love to past tense. Have they moved from loving you to loved you? Although these are subtle changes, they also reflect changes in thier thinking. Changes like these do not automatically mean that an affair will occur. They do indicate that change is underway in your spouse’s thinking. Such changes need to be checked out. Paying attention to such changes can give you an early warning to change underway rather than the spouse being the last to know.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
