A reader recently inquired about handling a video of their wife having an affair. When there’s a video of the affair, the proof is irrefutable. There’s no longer any room for doubt. If you had questions about what happened, a video of the affair removes all doubt about whether or not an affair occurred.
The question is then, “What you make of the video?”. Yes, a video means that an affair happened. There is no longer any benefit of doubt or denial.
There are still questions about things though.
Was the affair voluntary?
Was the video being used as blackmail?
Were drugs or alcohol involved?
Did they know the video was being made?
Answers to these questions often give you the frame in which to consider the video.
The reality is that there are blackmailers out there and they continue setting people up in compromising situations. This is a favorite tool of those who are seeking ways of incriminating pastors or those in influential positions. These tools are also used on couples.
Videos also make forgiveness more difficult. Once you see those images, they don’t go away very easily. The constant replay of those images make forgiveness difficult.
If you watch the video repeatedly, it makes the affair more real you, it re-injures you. The fresh reminders replaying over and over makes it difficult to forgive. Each time you view it, it imprints the image deeper and bolder into your mind.
The very thing that breaks through your denial about the affair is now what makes it more difficult to forgive the affair.
Keep this in mind if you consider spying on your spouse or hiring a private investigator. There’s a reason video evidence in court is so strong. It is also the reason why using video tape as a tool to discover cheating is a powerful tool that both hurts and helps.
Although forgiveness is more challenging with video evidence, it’s still possible. The video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks” guides you through the forgiveness process. With video evidence, you’ll want to watch the video several times in working through your forgiveness concerns.
Best Regards,
Jeff
