While my family and I were out of our home for a while, we experienced a squatter. Our squatter decided he’d move in while we were absent.
Our squatter had four legs and a long hairless tail. When I first saw his droppings, I knew what we were up against.
Although mice can be cute, when they are squatting, they quickly lose their appeal. I soon considered ways of dealing with my squatter.
One option was mouse poison. Given that any mouse or rat poison is 98% good oats and food, its appealing to them. They eat it and never realize the hidden danger.
In a similar manner you may be ingesting dangerous ideas into your head without realizing the danger. One dangerous idea is the “Love Wins” mentality.
With the idea of ‘Love Wins’, a person uses love in justifying any relationship they want. No longer is there any guilt or moral issue to stop them.
Without guilt, there is no discomfort at work in the cheater’s conscience. They can avoid honest discussions and not feel bad about doing so.
The danger is that cheaters start using the claim that they ‘love’ the cheater as a way of short-circuiting any guilt. Somehow when you love the lover, you manage suppressing their guilt.
The thinking is that if you spread ‘love’ on any relationship, it makes it okay, no matter how immoral it may be.
Even before the ‘love wins’ movement gained steam, many cheaters were using the ‘but I love her’ excuse as a way of playing head games with themselves to avoid guilt.
The message of the movement isn’t new. The country music star Buck Owens song “I don’t care (as long as you love me)” had the same sentiment back in 1964.
There was also the song “If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right” in 1972. The idea of covering up immoral relationships with love is nothing new, if anything, it’s cyclical.
Instead of putting a pink ribbon on things. By putting the label ‘love’ on a relationship it makes it acceptable.
It’s no wonder you have trouble convincing the cheater what they did was wrong. All they have to do is tell themselves “love wins” and any guilt is vanished.
The truth is love wins, but you lose.
The catchy phrase is popular. I mean who would argue against love? Whoever came up with the slogan is genius. If there was truth in advertising, it would actually be the guilt removal and banning of judgment movement.
Like rat poison, it appears as something good, yet there’s enough of the guilt avoidance poison in it to threaten the life of your marriage when in the hands of a cheater.
When you are ready for recovery from the affair, there’s help. By joining the support community at Restored Lifestyle, you can share your concern with others.
Knowing you’re not alone is a big help. Membership also gives you access to videos dealing with affair trauma, avoiding relapse and ways of improving communication with your spouse.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
PS-By the way, I did find a way of removing my squatter.
