There are times you have questions about the symptoms you experience after being betrayed. You wonder if what you’re experiencing is related to being betrayed.
One reader asked questions about memory problems after being betrayed. She was concerned about what she was going through.
First, let me say those memory problems are a common symptom experienced after being betrayed. Along with the memory problem are the difficulties thinking. You may have problems focusing, and making decisions. Your thinking is cloudy, and you can’t think straight.
What’s happening is your brain is trying to protect you from the pain of betrayal. It does this by numbing your mind. This numbing effect causes you to have problems with your memory and thinking.
It’s not merely forgetting a few things, you find yourself forgetting major things. At first you may have dismissed them or not seen the connection between the memory problems and being betrayed.
Secondly, despite the mass media efforts at normalizing affairs and portraying them as no big deal, the reality is they’re a huge deal. Your body knows it’s a big deal and is communicating that to you in the form of symptoms.
Your body is going into survival mode. This causes a fight, flight or freeze response. The part of your brain that’s responsible for memory and thinking isn’t as active because it’s not needed for survival. The focus is on survival.
This is why you find it hard to think and have difficulty with your memory after being betrayed.
Your mind and body are telling you that you’re in crisis and need help. The memory problems are alerting you to something needing your attention.
Rather than ignoring the memory problems, or difficulties thinking or problems making decisions, listen to what they’re alerting you to. You’ve just been dealt a major blow and need to address it
In the video “Getting Past the Affair Crisis” I show you how to take care of yourself and the actions needed at this time. Those symptoms are telling you something if you’re willing to listen to them.
Ignoring the symptoms and pushing on only sets you up for further problems. Like a roadside warning sign, your body is signaling that there’s danger ahead and that action is needed.
The memory problems are also telling you that you’ve been relying on your thinking at the expense of your heart. Your brain and your heart are out of coordination and need help in working together again.
You can make it through this crisis time. The choices you make determine how recovery through the affair will go. The messages you tell yourself start shaping your thinking and abilities.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
