When an affair happens to you, there’s more damage than you realize. It’s not by accident that the metaphor of an explosion is used in describing the shock of an affair.
Explosions send out shock waves. Affairs send out shock waves as well. In the case of an affair, the waves of destructive energy go out into all directions.
It impacts generations in all directions. It impact the parents of the cheater along with the sibling and the children of the cheater. No one is left undamaged.
The damage done carries with it both observable and hidden impact. Although people may seem unchanged by what happened, that is mere window dressing.
You’ll encounter damaged hopes, dreams and destroyed confidence. In some cases, they may not be destroyed yet are so limited that the full potential is never reached.
Since cheaters are often oblivious to anyone else’s hurt beyond themselves, they don’t see the damage done. One area where they are more oblivious is emotional damage since it is often not visible.
The assumption is made that if there are no broken bones or observable scars that all is fine. When you do not see the damage, it often means that you are not looking at the right areas. It may also take years before the cheater sees the fruit of their actions.
The old law of ‘sowing and reaping‘ applies to affairs in a big way. The damage of even a one-night stand often has long term repercussions.
When working with addicts, I often encourage them to consider the ‘end of the movie’ as a metaphor to wake them up to the need of examining what the end product of their actions will be.
Everyone gets stimulated by the excitement of the affair, but few consider where it will end up and what the final price tag will end up being. You’ll never be able to afford an affair. The cost of damages is beyond what you’re able to pay or make up for.
If your marriage has been impacted by an affair, there’s hope. There are things that you can do. In the video “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery“, I guide you though the areas needing change and attention in order to prevent further damage.
Best Regards,
Jeff
