Although there are few movies and books that encourage the preservation of purity, it is extremely important. Purity and honor are foundational to a healthy marriage. Since they are foundational, does that mean that when your spouse cheats, that your marriage is failed? No, adultery does not mean that your marriage is failed, or is over. It does mean that the both of you need to ‘get back to the basics.’ The basic truth is that in your marriage vows, you made a covenant with each other. If you are not one that views your vows as a covenant, but as a contract, you still have obligations to fulfill. The contract is not over until the task is completed. When it is a marriage contract, you keep going until all your children and grandchildren are raised. When you or your spouse messes up, at that point you clean up the mess, make the needed corrections and continue forward. The cheater made a bad choice. A bad choice does not automatically make them a bad person. If we became bad people because of occasional bad choices, we would all be in trouble.
When there is a pattern of bad choices, then you have reason for wondering if they are bad at heart or have some other problems going on. There could be explanations for their bad choices. There is also a big difference between bad choices out of misinformation versus maliciously intentional bad choices.
When you get dirty, wash up, wash your clothes and get on with things. The pure often make mistakes. They clean them up and continue on. Since purity is important, when there are bad choices, clean up and make it better.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
One Response
Well said Jeff ….I think that the Word of God tells us that purity comes through the ‘washing of the water of the WORD” once again ..we start out not knowing…if we are trained up with the knowledge of the Word and have parents who train our conscience to respect and appreciate what GOD has done for us …then we may have a stronger ability to receive truth that keeps us from the ways sin lures and ensnares.
Sin defiles, darkens, dirties our sight…our hearts and causes hardening against truth.
The light of God’s Word shows and exposes all we need to give to the Lord as we see it ..realize it …recognize it as the Word defines, describes and informs us of WHAT it is and WHAT damage it can do!Then we CAN confess it as the sin it is …even those things we once thought nothing of!
As the scriptures tell us ‘My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge’ and that is the knowledge of the word of GOD as the Bible we have reveals through the Lord who is offering to show us if we are willing to be led by seeking Him , reading His testimony and trusting Him for all it shows us !
Yet as you have said we all have vulnerabilities that we may not know of ..and in THIS culture many of those vulnerabilities have been lauded as ‘strengths’ and attributes of being a ‘hip’ person!
Glorified flesh and sensuality as a goal has brought so many down due to their lack of understanding that SIN is a thing to deal with . I remember having been led to not acknowledge that sin existed through the influence of the great influx and interest in eastern thought and religion…In my following the popular culture I learned about the worldviews of Hinduism, and all of the New Age isms that are presently being brought into the church under cover or RENAMING elements using Christianize! Many do not realize this .
Anyway the world has little by little and sometimes by “Leaps and bounds’ or what are identified as ‘waves ‘ has taken much of what was at least a community awareness of morality and even the bible and moved all to regard any sin is nothing but a man made up definition and ‘no worries’ …’do what thou wilt’ as influence by Aliaster Crowley and Madame Blavatsky! among others.
Anyway …not knowing what sin is can cause any and all things to be a non issue as people are then ‘free ‘ to follow appetites that were intended to be for the pleasure and intimate learning about one’s spouse ONLY …and now are part of casual …even sexual activity with strangers!
What is astonishing is that no one seems to LEARN from the past …even most recent past about the consequences of sickness and death …sin makes you think that YOU will not suffer the same fate as others….It is like reading about someone dying in the paper or some disaster …a certain sense of relief MAY cross one’s mind that it was not them …but then there seems to be the DENIAL that anything disastrous COULD happen to us! It is deception and self deception that feeds our sinful lust.
When we see cemeteries it is a reality check…I grew up encountering cemeteries from a child …for some reason . We even played in one where it was the only place with paved roads to ride bike on…and I would pick little dandelions and daisies and place them …>It served for contemplation of what it was like ‘under ground’ . I was not permitted to see a dead person or go to funerals which I am not sure if that was good or bad…my mom lost her mom when she was six and she also had to kiss her grandmother in her coffin I believe so that may be why she sheltered me from this .
My first ‘dead body ‘ was when I was in a fellowship and a friend of mine’s dad died ..I was in my last twenties …so I asked the Lord to ‘make use’ of this most sad occasion…I went up and looked at her dad and it was an odd thing…he was himself but not himself ..
Knowing the Lord makes a great deal of difference in our view of death and it confronts us with the reality that it is appointed unto man ONCE to die and then the judgment.
Other religions and philosophies pretty much create a way to stay in denial of this …and discard the judgment of GOD for sure ..but then it is odd that people all have a sense of some sort of need for ‘justice; when they themselves are the receptor of injustice or violations .
This innate sense should cause them to realize that there is a lawgiver and that justice is something we have a sense of because we are created in the image of Him who has set the world on it’s course.
Those who oppose God and most definitely oppose themselves while indulging in sin do not see this …they only feel what they feel and think that is LIFE …my husband told the one guy who he did tell about his adultery when asked why he continued to engage with the OW …he said ‘She makes me feel alive’ !
There is something that was ‘missing ‘ from his life …but we know that what is missing from someone when they cheat is the understanding of what depth of damage this attempt to fill the place of Jesus Christ is …the life of our Lord through His incorruptible seed to put on the life of eternity through Him is our missing piece.
That is one reason there is an addictive quality to sin . Coming to know Christ gives us an appetite and a hunger and thirst for HIM which differs from addiction in that We are MADE FOR consuming HIS spirit ..HIS WORD …it is our proper ‘food’ …and thus it fulfills yet we taste and see that HE is ‘good’ …His Word both satisfies and fulfills …it is LIFE that never dies.
We enjoy sharing life with the Lord and our spouse if they are willing and the evidence of the truth of it’s satisfying aspect is what we take part in bringing forth.
Lust is never fully satisfied. One reason my husband did not want to leave me and even if he had lost me would not go to her was that even in his passion for more of what she offered he recognized that she was ‘not his’ …and she was ‘bad news’ …in that she had NO LIFE …no love for the Lord and therefore as Jesus Christ told us that “he who knows not God knows not love’ …it is simply not IN them……perhaps she will come to know Him …I pray for her …even as it is only now with obedience in mind ….yet it is sad for anyone to go into eternity lost…It must truly grieve the heart of Him who extends love and is rejected out of hand daily.
He KNOWS our pain among those who are rejected by a spouse …very well indeed …so HE is able to relate and comfort us like no one else can…What a blessing in the midst of sorrow!