You may be asking yourself “Why can’t I trust my spouse or partner again?” When I hear such questions I cringe. It makes me want to go over and shake the person asking it.
I want to ask them “Do you know what you are asking? Do you REALLY know what you are asking?” In most cases, you don’t realize what you’re asking with such a question.
For the moment, consider the question “Why can’t I trust my spouse or partner again?” If you’re praying this or asking the universe for answers, you need to stand back and listen.
With this question, you’re seeking a laundry list of reasons for not trusting your spouse. If your mind is flooded with all the wrongs the cheater did and how they let you down, you need to rejoice.
Your prayers and petitions have been answered!
The way things work, if that’s what you’re looking for, that’s what you’ll find.
You now know “WHY” you can’t trust your spouse. Those anguished prayers and emotional petitions are precious. You don’t want to waste them asking the wrong questions.
In this case, you’re asking for a laundry list of all the reasons to never trust your spouse again.
Being a Christian, I believe in what the Sriptures say about how the prayers of a broken heart receive priority treatment and go to the front of the line. When your prayers are in the priority lane, it is silly to ask for a laundry list of why you can’t trust the cheater.
A better prayer would be asking for “What do I need to do in order to trust them again?”, or “How can we rebuild our marriage?”, or “What’s the next step to bring healing?”.
Knowing what is stopping you from trusting your spouse may be helpful, in terms of finding the source of problems or locating who or what to blame, but it does little to move the relationship forward.
“Why” questions always point you in the wrong direction for moving ahead.
Consider my question …”Do you want to be healed?” How you answer this will determine the next question. If you want to be healed, then you do not need the laundry list.
Instead you want to know how to bring about the healing or what your next step needs to be. If you don’t want healing, then the “Why” question will work for you.
It allows you to wallow in self-pity and blame for as long as you chose to stay there.
If what you’re really after is healing, the video “How Can I Trust You Again?” addresses that concern. You can know what to do and ways of doing it that rebuilds trust. You can know what the formula for trust is in terms of what the ingredient list contains.
Best Regards,
Jeff
