In dealing with affairs and relationship issues, there are often many questions you and others like yourself ask. One area where many questions arise is that of sexual addictions. Have you ever wondered what really happens to the life of an addict? Do people who are caught up in this lifestyle never get out of it or recover, or is there always hope for change? The truth is that most addicts don’t see their behavior as a problem. In this article I will share with you some lessons from Bob Crane’s life.
I was reminded of this on seeing a recent news story about Bob Crane back in November. He was known for his role as Colonel Hogan in the television show ‘Hogan’s Heroes’. The initial news of his murder was shocking back in 1978. Who knew that it would still be sending shock waves into 2021?
Bob Crane’s murder investigation is still ongoing. Recent DNA tests show that blood in the prime suspect’s car was not from Bob Crane. What is known is that Bob Crane was murdered, what is not knows is who did it.
Ernest Hemmingway once said, “Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you.” The story of Bob Crane is a real-life illustration of sexual addiction and final conclusions.
I mention the Bob Crane case, since Bob Crane’s case was the first high profile celebrity where sexual addiction came into public awareness due largely to his being murdered. Sexual addiction is also known as hypersexuality and sex addiction. Sexual addiction has been defined as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.”
His murder brought attention to his vast array of porn, videotapes, and polaroid photos of his sexual conquests. The secret lives of many people were brought to light with the discovery.
Bob Crane serves as a living illustration of the reality of sexual addiction and how far it will take you. He found his life driven by porn, seduction and affairs, despite his clean cut likeable outward appearance. On the outside, he was a likeable and handsome man with wife and family, yet there was a dark side hidden from public view.
His was a sad story that ended with him being bludgeoned to death. If you ever wondered whether sexual addiction is a real thing, you can look at his private life and see it illustrated.
So the answer to the question of whether or not sexual addiction is real or not, is that “Yes, sexual addiction is a real thing.”
Do sexual addicts all look like overweight, unattractive slobs that most consider losers? The answer is “No”. Sexual addicts come from all walks of life and do not fit into any stereotypical visual category.
I received a call one day from a biographer living in Australia working on Bob Crane’s story. During the course of the interview, she wanted an understanding of the role of fantasy in Sexual Addiction. We discussed how Bob used fantasy in seducing his targets. She shared incidents from his life, I shared experiences from dealing with sexual addictions.
With practice Bob became very adept at seducing his targets. He took the idea of mentally undressing to the extreme of mentally seducing. He approached his targets with the mindset of having already seduced them in his mind. It was as if he had scripted the whole seduction. He was merely executing what had been planned out in his head. Since he’d played it over and over so many times, there was no twinge of guilt. The fantasy prepared him for seducing his intended target.
So if you ever wondered about “What is the role of fantasy with sexual addiction?”, the answer is “Fantasy is the foundation of sexual addiction. In order to remove the addiction, you must remove the fantasy”.
If you want to understand more about the role of fantasy with both affairs and sexual addiction, you’ll want to read my e-book, “Why He Cheats”, which addresses this topic in greater detail.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
