In today’s culture, if you believe in marriage and disapprove of affairs, there are times you may question whether or not you are the weird one. The way marriages are portrayed in entertainment, music and the news, holding to the traditional one man-one woman model, you feel like you are an outlier.
Let me reassure you that holding such views does not make you weird. Thinking marriage is between one man and one woman does not make you a hater or strange in any way. Your views are not unhealthy or abnormal.
Although you feel those pressures, the problem does not lie with you. There has been a major effort by very vocal groups on the fringes of society to marginalize those with traditional values and traditional views on marriage. Those efforts are not only aimed at marginalizing traditional marriage, such efforts also include a mainstreaming of non-traditional marriages.
These behind the value shift pressure want to make you feel that your views and values are not mainstream. In marginalizing you, they will make you feel weird and ‘extreme’ for holding such views and values.
When you are recovering from an affair, the cheater may use such articles against you. You may also start questioning whether you are weird from having read or been influenced by such value-changing propaganda. This is why it is important to be careful where you go for direction while recovering from an affair.
It is not by accident that the marriages you see on television and in the movies are more non-traditional than in previous decades. The writers, social engineers and social justice warriors are engaged in a massive propaganda campaign or normalizing non-traditional views, which include the normalization of infidelity and polyamory while marginalizing traditional marriage values.
I was reminded of this on seeing an article in the Huffington Post which included the recommendation to define monogamy in your marriage. The HP them recommends your definition includes taking a vacation from your marriage.
If you followed their definition, it is a conditional monogamy. You are monogamous unless you’re on vacation. That’s not monogamy to me. That’s another version of a hall pass.
Perhaps those of you reading Huffington Post, taking to heart their recommendations want to not feel guilty for having an affair. If you follow their recommendations, it will weaken your marriage, not strengthen it.
In my mind, when you pledged ‘until death do us part’, it didn’t include caveats about needing breaks or a vacation. Such articles from a trend setting center like New York City are portrayed as the standard bearers. When standard bearers are wanting to water down your marriage vows, something is wrong.
Whether or not you choose to emulate the families you watch as role models, the more you watch them, the more they will influence your family. When such fractured and dysfunctional families are the are the only ones your children see, they will begin thinking that is the way families are ‘supposed’ to be.
If you were naive enough to follow such recommendations and role modeling, you would find your marriage in trouble quickly. In some ways, you need a warning on media outlets that let you know their potential danger to your marriage and family if you follow what they tell you to.
Such articles will also make you feel that you are weird for believing in marriage and holding traditional marriage values. Leaving you feeling weird is not by accident. The writers are making you feel ‘weird’ on purpose.
The articles and shows are intentionally challenging traditional values and making what was once ‘fringe’ and freak values, the new mainstream. The shows intentionally test the limits with new relationships, new definitions of ‘family’ and always testing the limits on how far they can go sexually.
You’re not the weird one for holding such values. You feel bad enough in the aftermath of the affair without stories, shows and songs making you feel like a bad person for thinking that marriage is between a one man and one woman along with believing that there is something wrong with either of you sleeping with other men or women.
If you’re looking for something to strengthen your marriage, consider the “30 Days to a Better Marriage” program. It guides you in ways of encouraging your marriage and improving communication.
Best Regards,
Jeff
2 Responses
My daughter pointed out early on after D day that even a child knows right and wrong
When someone takes one of their toys and swears it is now theirs they KNOW it is wrong and that they have been violated
Romans chapter one indicates we all should recognize hat there is God by our conscience and through observing creation
Sin darkens he mind and renders sinners who refuse to acknowledge God as reprobate
But still accountable
Either we have our sins paid for in full u the Saviour Jesus Christ and acknowledge our need for Him or we have to stand and give account for rejecting Him which leaves them “naked” of the necessisary “covering” and cleansing Jesus Christonlu provides for all who trust and believe in Him and that He was risen from the dead and remains alive at the right hand of God the Father
People do know but they suppress the truth and become numb to obeying their fleshly desires
The blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin and in His death and resurrection all who trust in His finished work are raised up with Him spiritually now and bodily one day to come
Zaza,
Children learn some valuable and simple truths. When a toy is theirs, it is theirs. They know that mommies and daddies are not meant to be shared with other men and women. There are some innate truths that many cheaters have not grasped.
They also know who is their family and who is not.
Jeff