When I watch a movie over and over, I know what to expect. There are some movies that I’ve seen so often, I even know the upcoming dialogue.
I make it a point to include those movies I enjoy repeatedly in my movie collection. Over the years it has grown to where it occupies multiple shelves.
I watch movies enjoying what is going on along with what is coming up. It’s as if I am enjoying part of it before it happens.
When the movie I’m watching is a positive one or a comedy, that makes for a gratifying experience. When watching suspenseful or dramatic movies, I no longer jump with the sudden surprises. I know it’s coming.
When it comes to real life and affairs, these tendencies of viewing life through the lens of past experiences works against you. In real life, you may have gone through traumas before thinking you know what comes next.
The problem is that when you’re going through a traumatic experience like an affair your mind can have trouble differentiating the past from the present. When you confuse the two, it leaves you stuck.
You can get caught up in a loop of thinking “It’s only going to happen again” or “I know how this is going to end“. It’s one thing if you’re watching a movie, yet real life requires different solutions than the movies do.
Moving past the trauma in your life requires you separating whatever happened before from what’s happening now. You start realizing that time did not freeze with the trauma.
Your past may influence how you look at things, yet you aren’t reliving what happened before. Assuming you’re reliving it, only replays old tapes in your head.
This is one of the problems with affair trauma. It keeps you trapped in a loop of experiences and expectations.
When you get stuck and need help in moving past that point, a support group is helpful. Consider joining the support community at Restored Lifestyle when you are facing challenges like this in recovery from the affair.
There you’ll find step by step helps in getting you unstuck from the old replayed reruns in your mind. You can start reclaiming parts of yourself and let go of past hurts.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
