One of the heart breaking situations that I have encountered is when a spouse so degrades their spouse to where they become a broken person. Since marriage impact you at a personal level, when your spouse degrades you in terms of your sexual performance, looks or other personal aspect, it hurts deep. You loved them and trusted them and they turned around and treated you like dirt. In such situations, it is easy to start believing that you have little or no value and that you are dirt. You want to believe your spouse and if they view you as worthless, then you must be of little value.
Some twisted spouses take the degrading further and degrade you in public or in front of others. At that point, they are degrading and exploiting you. You may want to please them, yet they make such outlandish requests that you begin engaging in acts that leave you feeling dirtier and slimier. They may want to take photos or movies of you that they share with others, which takes your dignity away even more, if that were possible. From that point, they may have you engaging in sleeping around which takes you further down degradation. They treat you like a lover for hire to pay their bills or do favors for their friends.
So when the marriage situation is this whacked out, is there any hope? Yes, you can take steps to turn things around. You can escape the degradation. In such cases, you need to escape the crazy situation while you still can. Many times in degrading marriages, drugs and alcohol are used to keep you numb, so that you do not resist their control. They may even use the children as leverage to keep you ‘locked in’. This is emotional blackmail. These situations do not improve on their own. They require action. You need to leave the crazy situation and get healing for you and your family. You can turn things around. The healing will take time. When you have been forced to be a ‘piece of meat’ handed around from person to person as part of a degrading marriage, it is not like you chose to jump into the slime willingly. There are many scars that need healing, as with any affair situation.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
