One word often missing from articles and posts on modern marriage is ‘commitment’. Although the term ‘committed relationship’ is tossed about, few people actually practice real commitment. Even when the term ‘committed relationship’ is used, it is in reference to relationships where people have not actually entered the institution of marriage, but want the benefits. So even then, the so-called committed relationships are only in part-way. For many it sounds nice using the word commitment, yet when the time comes, they want to ‘maintain their personal space’. The word is used, but commitment is not practiced.
The idea where you are committed to the relationship and to your spouse. Much is said about sexual double-standards, when the reality is that the place of double-standards is ‘commitment’.
So what does it mean to be committed? It means that you are ‘all in’. It means that you are in the marriage until the ‘game ends’. These days many people bail on their spouse when the ‘going gets tough’, rather than being ‘all in’. They are committed until it gets painful. The modern marriage ceremony does not convey the seriousness of the blood covenant that it is meant to represent. Promises are cheap, and many couples do not take seriously the promises they made before God and witnesses. If they realized how serious their promises were, then staying committed would be more common, while affairs and divorces would be the RARE exception rather than the rule.
You may need to reconsider commitment and what it means to both you and to your marriage.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
