If you want to save your marriage, take a stand against affairs and believe your family deserves more attention than other families, there are some who consider your views as ‘politically incorrect’. When you take stands to save your marriage, you may find some people oppose your plans. Do not be surprised that in some social circles or in parts of country affairs are encouraged and are not seen as a ‘bad thing’. Just because they devalue marriage and approve sexual hedonism to the point of sacrificing their family life does not mean that you have to as well.
When you take a stand for your marriage, there will be peer pressure to prevent you from doing so. There will be some who will encourage you to get a lawyer and get on with your life. They will liken the affair to jetsam that is thrown off a cargo ship on its voyage. In a similar manner they will want you to throw out your spouse, like unwanted garbage and move on. They will encourage you to ‘get with the times’ and let go of your old-fashioned values. You will really see this happen as you discuss reconciliation. Some of those ‘friends’ that are so supportive when you find out about the affair, may very well bail when they find out that you want to reconcile.
Reconciliation is something that is often frowned upon. They will pressure you do date and find someone new rather than reconcile. You will have to decide what you own marriage is worth. What are your promises and vows worth? Were your marriage vows conditional or not?
Dealing with an affair will force you to find out what you and your friends are truly made of. Your friends may be supportive, yet their support could be conditional on you getting out of the marriage. Be aware of these dangers as you deal with the aftermath of an affair.
I deal with many of these challenges in my e-books on dealing with affairs, if you decide you want to save your relationship rather than abandon ship.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
