Families are being redefined in a way that opens the door wide open for affairs and other profligacy. The new definition is that a family is “a collection of individuals who love and care for and about each other.” Such definitions are being promoted in schools as a way to twist (I think distort is a better term-JM) the definition of family.
This ‘new’ definition means that lovers and their children can now be considered part of ‘your family’. If there is ‘love’ and ‘care’ they are now part of your family. The new definition does not say that everyone in the ‘family’ has to agree that any new addition has to be loved and care for all. The new definition does not say that the love and care is reciprocal. The definition has lowered the standards so much, that almost anyone can be a part of a family. All that is required is ‘love and care’.
Does this mean that prostitutes and gigolos are now part of your family as well? Yes, at least temporarily if you literally follow the ‘new definition’. For the time they are delivering love and care, they would fit this new modern definition of family members.
Since ‘care’ and ‘love’ are not clarified, they can be twisted into merely providing cash and loving feelings.
This also means that people can come and go into and out of the family depending on their caring and love. With the standards of definition so low, entrance and exit from ‘the family’ is easily done. Family members are moved in and out with the inter-changeability of lego building blocks.
This ‘new’ definition of family has many problems associated with it. Not only does it lower the requirements to be in a family to the lowest possible level, there are no barriers. Barriers of blood relations and commitment are non-existent. Although this lets anyone be a part of the family, it also means you can not restrict people from being a part of your family. You loose any say in who is in and who is out.
The new definition means you can’t reject the lover’s children or the lover. They suddenly has as much right to the cheater as you do. Let that sink in. They have as much right to your spouse as you do. There is no preferential treatment, and no priorities for you.
This opens the door to profligacy, polyamory and a host of other situations. In many ways, it becomes a massive love-in among various collections of people. Not only do you have a mass of people, the question arises, “Who is responsible for their upkeep?” Make no mistake, not only will the ‘tribe’ claim your spouse, they will one day lay claim to your home, estates and monies.
By removing the barriers, you remove the distinctiveness of your relationship. When you remove the requirements of blood and commitment, you weaken the whole structure of the family. The new definition could apply to any band of people. You are not even limited to being in the same locale. Under the new definition, if someone in South Africa, Peru or Japan claims they care about you and love you, they are now part of your family.
It also concerns me that there is no requirement for being responsible. When you loosen the definitions to that point, the whole topic of child support is muddled. Whose children are you responsible for? Are you responsible for any of them? Can you leave the family without paying support? I suspect that this will become a headache for the family courts.
What this ‘new’ or modern definition of family does is weaken your exclusive claim to your spouse. Your marriage is no longer special. You are vulnerable to encroachment from many areas. It also weakens marriage. Marriage becomes a matter of who you shack up with rather than who you are committed to or bonded to by covenant. In the modern world, blood relations are not respected. If anything, you will find some modern thinkers who blast ‘familialism‘ as a new form of racism. These modern thinkers have gone so far as devising something called ‘post-familism’ as a replacement of family.
The lack of commitment also sets the stage for issues related to emotional security and identity. Who you are and where you came from becomes very confused. Perhaps that is why the moderns mention caring, since there is no security in the new modern family.
I encourage you to discuss your definition of family with your spouse and children. The weaker your definition, the weaker your commitment and the weaker your marriage will be.
If you struggle with keeping your family together, the Affair Recovery Workshop is what you need to start making the needed changes.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
4 Responses
Super article!!!! Keep up the great work. Keep praying for a mighty revival in our country.
Dad,
Thank you for the encouragement. I am glad that you are following the articles. I do continue praying. Revival is just one of the many needs lifted up in prayer.
Article is right on. First it was lowering the standards for academics. And now family and next finances and so on.
Lisa,
Thank you for your comment. You are very perceptive. The lowering of standards and changing definitions go hand-in-hand. Often the ‘new’ definition is a lowering of standards/expectations/responsibility/accountability. One of the things the new lower standards share is a common denial of responsibility and victim mentality. Either way, it leaves people feeling powerless and blameless when it comes to improving things.