When you tell me“I am so frustrated!’ , it communicates more than you realize. That statement lets me know that at some level, you are either trying to control what is going on or you are struggling with the loss of control. Dealing with cheaters will put your face into the middle of many control issues. You may want to control where your spouse goes, who they talk to, how they spend their money, and how they respond to you. If you had that kind of control, you would have a trained circus animal rather than a spouse. They would be doing things because they are controlled, NOT because they love you or are doing things based on their moral values.
Seriously, what can you control in the situation with your spouse? At this moment you are doing good controlling your own anger and emotions without trying to control theirs as well. Yes, you can change some things through control and manipulation, which may bring your spouse back due to being ‘controlled’. You may want to rethink doing such things. If your marriage is going to work, you want them to return due to a commitment to you, a desire for you, and a love for you. Forcing them to return through control means that you have their body, but you do not have their heart.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
PS Jeff will be discussing his e-book, “How to Cope with a Cheating Spouse” in a tele-seminar interview on Tuesday, August 17th from 5-7:30pm EST. You can register for the call at this link.
