About the time I think I have the English language down, I encounter new words for phenomena I never dreamed of. There are times I wonder if they originated with someone being drunk and slurring words and terms together.
The most recent new term I encountered was ‘unaffair’. The urban dictionary defines it as when two people want each other, but know they can’t have each other. They end up staying away from each other while simultaneously do things that drive each other crazy.
This phenomena is now known as an ‘unaffair’. Although the term is new, the phenomena of burning with lust is known as being wanton or lascivious. Most people refer to them as ’emotional affairs’.
In using the term ‘unaffair’, it implies that the relationship where they burn and tease is mutually agreed upon. Since many people now focus on their own internal subjective reality more than objective factual reality, it’s a growing concern.
The unaffair reminds me of the ‘dry drunk’ phenomena with alcoholics only in this case, the focus is on the cheater and a dry-drunk type of affair.
Technically, the cheater can deny having an affair with this kind of arrangement, even though emotionally, it meets the definition of an affair. You know that the cheater is having an affair going on in their head, whether or not they indulge their desire.
To me, this is the latest word game in vogue. It deflects the moral sting of an affair. I consider such word games as just another game cheaters play.
Moving past these kinds of ploys requires you be honest in what you call what’s going on. It also requires making changes in how the two of you deal with each other.
I encourage you to click and download “The Affair Recovery Workshop“. Inside you’ll find the tools you need for reconnecting with each other and opening up intimacy that has been neglected.
The two of you can turn things around rather than have to put up with lusts and unaffairs or whatever the latest game playing ploy is.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
