During the past week, I found myself struck by reactions to a quote by the 19th century theologian, Charles Spurgeon. The quote was “We shall not adjust our Bible to the age; but before we have done with it, by God’s grace, we shall adjust the age to the Bible.”
The part of the saying of concern deals with making adjustments to the age in which you live. When it comes to affairs, many cheaters are among those who want to ‘adjust’ the standards and moral limits to accommodate their cheating. They want your approval of what they are doing.
They want their ‘love’ and passion to trump any sense of morality or decency.
In the cheaters mind, morals are supposed to change with the times. As societies sexual standards change, they think that moral standards need to change as well. They want any sense of right and wrong to change with the current sexual fads.
They want the church and society to make adjustments that fit their morals. When the cheater encounters resistance to that adjustments, they are branded as ‘old-fashioned’, ‘medieval’, ‘fascist’ or even ‘Patriarchal’.
They want to consider their ideas more in fitting with the times they are in. Truth be told, history has had numerous times when sexual licentiousness was widespread.
Sexual libertines have existed in various times throughout history. Whether it was ancient Rome, the times of Casanova, the times of the Marquis de Sade, Catherine the Great, or other noted libertines or times when sexual liberties were indulged in. Such people and times are fads. They have come and gone, while the moral standards have remained constant throughout history.
Sexual fads may come and go, but that doesn’t change the standards. Some things are right and some things are wrong. Those should never be adjusted for the times.
What concerned me about the Spurgeon quote was the reactions of some so-called decent folks to it from a mainline denomination. One woman proclaimed being proud of her church ‘changing with the times’ which included changing the Bible and what it says to accommodate changing social values.
Her response indicated that she actually wanted a Bible and a church that was altered to meet the times in which they live.
They want accommodation to be emphasized rather than morality. On reading their responses, I shook my head and said, “they don’t know what they are asking for”.
In their clamoring for making adjustments to the times, they are watering down the sanctity of their own marriages. They are asking for morals to be based on what is popular rather than what is right.
The real shock is that they actually prided themselves on making ‘adjustments’. It made me wonder if they had thought through how far their adjusting will go. My experience is that they are willing to adjust for other people’s marriages and situations up until it touches their marriage.
When ‘moral adjustments’ hit their marriage, they are often not so accommodating. The problem is that when you make all these adjustments, you have lost any moral authority to say that the cheater is doing wrong.
When it’s your spouse cheating, the question becomes “Who are you to say what the cheater is doing is wrong?” They may even say that you are in the wrong by not showing love toward the cheater and their lover. The cheater will turn the table and make you look like you are in the wrong by your reluctance to show them acceptance and toleration.
Morals then turn into right and wrong becoming your willingness to tolerate and accept. If you do not accept their lasciviousness, you are branded as being ‘unloving’ rather than the cheater who violated their marriage vows and cheated on you.
When your morals are based on popularity, you loose the ability to confront cheaters and cheating as a whole. Making adjustments to morals gives cheaters the freedom to excuse what they have done based on their ability to rationalize it.
If they can rationalize what they have done and connect it in any way to love or passion or the ever popular ‘oneness’ it can be excused. With an adjusted morality, they have done nothing wrong.
In closing, there was another old thinker named G. K. Chesteron who made the quote, “Don’t ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up.” You’ll need to think through the reason why the standards and morals for marital and sexual behavior exist. Before you adjust and accommodate, you need to know why the barriers and limits are there in the first place.
Best Regards,
Jeff
