There are times when I wonder if I received someone else’s email. At least with snail mail, when someone else’s mail is put in my box, I can send it back to the original recipient.
With email and the queries on my sites, there’s no other box to send the mail back to. When it comes to me, there’s no forwarding address I can redirect it to.
So it was quite a surprise when a husband expressing his frustration that he was experiencing trouble convincing his wife that “permission isn’t adultery”. It’s quite a statement that he was looking for help with such a situation.
It’s also encouraging that some of you wives have enough common sense and wits about you to know that permission doesn’t magically change adultery into non-adultery. Permission by your spouse doesn’t change stealing, it doesn’t change murder and it certainly doesn’t change adultery.
I feel that his wife needs some congratulations for her keeping her wits about her. It takes courage to make such a stand.
It astounds me that there are husbands who believe that they can remove all guilt and shame just by giving permission for their wives to slut themselves out. I also know that it’s not so much about removing her guilt as it is in removing his guilt.
His giving permission is more about him wanting to allow himself some guilt-free infidelity. The strategy is that by giving your wife permission, it gives you permission as well.
Although the permission argument has been used with some couples, morality doesn’t work that way. The marriage standards of the Bible don’t have permission clauses in the fine print giving secret backdoor ways of indulging in free infidelity.
Although there’s no fine print allowing infidelity, there’s plenty of charlatans promoting the idea and selling their wives on it. I’ve even heard of husbands claiming their wife isn’t submissive if she doesn’t violate their marriage vows after he tells her to.
In such cases, the husband is using some twisted legalism in guilt tripping trip his wife into infidelity. Tragically, there are some of you who’ve been caught in such binds.
Frequently, permission is given whether consciously or unconsciously. Permission doesn’t make Adultery okay, no matter how much the cheater whines about it.
They don’t understand that the only place where ‘Free Parking’ exists is the game of monopoly. There is no free parking in real life, nor is there free infidelity. When you violate the bounds of marriage, whether with permission or not, you still violated the bounds of marriage.
This is where my video on “How to Recover from Relationship Trauma for the Swinger” comes in. It helps you heal your mind and emotions after such an experience. Since there are often head games used prior to this kind of adultery, you need help in removing yourself from such situations.
You can start the journey of getting your marriage back to where it needs to be and getting yourself back as well. In a few minutes, you can start the change. Order your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
