If you have ever felt that your spouse is under a magic spell, in many cases, you are absolutely correct. When the cheater sleeps with the lover, bonding occurs. The bonding occurs on several levels. At that juncture, there is a tethering of the two of them. Over time, the strength of that cord connecting them strengthens. Breaking them out of it involves severing the cord and then reviving them from the chemical induced stupor that they have been in. For practical purposes, they have been drugged. You will have to counter the effects of that drugging.
In many cases, they are a different person. They have been reprogrammed and transformed into something new. Although the lover may think what they are turning them into is something wonderful, in actuality it is a monstrous freak. Since love (infatuation) often distorts their ability to see things, they do not recognize the true freakish nature of what they are creating.
When you add all of this together, the drugging, turning people into beasts, and chemical umbilical cords, it is a form of magic and witchcraft. The lover may not actually be a witch, but the techniques they are using are right out of a witch’s spell book.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
7 Responses
Bingo ! The ongoing lengthy lifestyle these two people engaged in has warped my husbands view of everything …even as he knows he sinned and has caused so many people such pain …AND he continues to have a false self presented to most people …He does not realize the extent that his adulterous arrangement has effected the way he sees others …deals with his family and decides what is “OK” and “RIGHT” ..
God has told us in the Word that ‘
Pro 20:6 Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?
Rom 10:3 For they being ignorant of God’s righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God.
Eze 33:13 When I shall say to the righteous, [that] he shall surely live; if he trust to his own righteousness, and commit iniquity, all his righteousnesses shall not be remembered; but for his iniquity that he hath committed, he shall die for it.
People think that because Jesus said ‘ I came not to judge the world but to save it ‘ that God’s mercy omits judgment …however Jesus said that because the world WAS judged at the time of the Fall and in NEED of salvation .
The Mercy of GOD does not omit judgment ….The Judgment continues upon those who reject the commands of the LORD to FOLLOW HIM and obey His words…
Many will be shocked and surprised when facing the Lord who GAVE all fair warning and information in order to escape this enslavement to sin that is what the WOrld exists in and we are to seek HIM in order to escape this captivity that HE has led captive ….!
Presuming upon the mercy and grace of GOD does not work righteousness…only hearing and obeying what He hasa revealed throughout His entire testimony of the Word SAVES ….learning and applying that truth ..
I shudder to think as I myself strive to continue in the Word …what of those who assume and presume upon the Lord ‘s patience after He has done all that should bring us to acknowledge His right to rule and reign…..in our heart…and over all
1Cr 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
1Cr 6:20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
1Cr 7:23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.
Humanism stresses love everyone…the ‘brotherhood of man’ and this confuses the issue that should rest with the finality of God’s word in terms of what it is to LOVE”‘
Jesus always did the will of his father and he was LOVE …but when we take a serious look at what it means from God’s view to LOVE others…it shows up that Jesus confronted sin …he challenged people to obey the commandments…to speak the truth …which may sting but IS the very definition of LOVE …HIS WORD …without this “light’ people stumble in darkness and burn themselves out ‘serving ‘ all kinds of demands that the world makes an equate with ‘love’
God tells men to say YES to HIM …and to the responsiblities they must learn about in HOW to love their wives …and serve GOD by way of relationship with the spouse and the children FIRST ….
Without the perimeters that GOD has set forth people are pulled away from the very source of all resources to love .
They get involved with ‘loving ‘ in appropriate relationships …things …activities that steal , kill and destroy the marriage and family …JUST what the devil has had in mind .
I pray that I can continue and stay the course despite the large wound my husband continues to pour vinegar on ! …stings …but in the length of things..my LORD is STILL the one that deserves honor and obedience…I pray that this will effectively turn my husbands heart…it did not in the past …so I don’t have a lot of hope it will in the future ..
I hear of this being useful ..but for all our married life he was living with someone who continued to live as much as I could as the Proverbs 31 woman …learning …stumbling ..not boasting in it but continuing to offer him the open field that the Word makes available
Then I thought …JESUS himself lived a PERFECT life. ..mine is far from that …but indeed if people did not care to believe from witnessing HIS LIFE …then there is a lot more to someone turning to the LORD than just one wife who is following the Lord as day by day the husband dotes on others..and then one other woman in particular while using his wife as a homebound slave of sorts.
I loved being at home …being a homemaker….and being a companion ..my husband loved me too until he spread himself out over all who requested his time , energy and involvement. ..soon he would go without me ..and not care …then he ended up ‘needing’ a companion …for his OTHER activities…and our family responsibilities were no match for the many exciting activities that were offered to him
He could not ‘miss out ‘ just because our family needed care ….so he went alone…often ..and soon nearly all the time …just slept at home…not even coming home for meals and playing golf and ‘things’ on weekends.
He lived his life for himself …as he thought he was living it for others…and he has reaped a lot of superficial relationships while having missed our family life that we all desired and continued to ask him to engage with ….now he is busy trying to be a ‘father ‘ to the kids he had with the adulteress but he has no real fathering experience…he is more like a buddy .,..with cash
The other day he said he wished the other children of adultery did not talk about money all the time …
It seems that the values of their mother have been passed along..
She got involved because he was powerful, handsome, charming and had money ..or at least she assumed he did …and now that is what the kids think too …
I warned him that he should not demonstrate himself this way ..but he would not listen
Sad..you would think he would have learned ….he does not respect my input even though every aspect of his life he has rejected wisdom and by now should be able to see the value of it …but some WILL NOT learn …none so blind as those who WILL NOT SEE>
Zaza,
It saddens me that he does not hear what you are saying. That would frustrate me to no end. I know that many times changes is occurring even when we do not see outward evidence of it happening.
Nice to think so ….but the fog almost seems like it is permanent….Guess time will tell ….as long as one breathes there is opportunity to get out of the pig sty and go home ! Thank you for your continued empathy…especially when there seems to be little of it around here …ugh
Since very few know of our situation I do thank you for whenever you happen to pray for our marriage and family ….my husband came home tonight and was very down ..he is not well but even when he went to the doc for his annual physical he did not disclose his severe cramping …he wants to die and said today he has no hope ….I try to encourage him and remind him that he has said he wants to be there for the Other children ..perhaps to give him more ‘juice’ to rise up
I also relay the things from the Word that speak of each day is our opportunity and privileged to make a new start…..the word of truth must be received with meekness to make an impact ….Thank you for your continued prayers and work in this area so many are presently facing …
Part of the difficulty for anyone who discovers this going on is that they have not any preparation for it …no one knows what is the ‘normal’ response….what is the ‘right ‘ way to respond.
I have taken much care to try to research the Word for what I should do …despite many challenges and trials in my walk through the last 43 years I had no preparation for HOW I would feel or What was the thing to do or what was ‘usual’ in the ways it effects one
It is not just emotional …it is physical ..it is of course spiritual but the initial effects that challenge us often are the emotional and the physical damage …Recently I fell and broke a small portion of the tip of my nose…and both knees were gouged…it has taken a LOT longer time to heal than I would have imagined…..and these are seen wounds,
The heart that has broken must have the proper healing not just from the Lord but even with the spouse …how that spouse either engages in that process or not …effects the duration of suffering
For me , since my husband chose to ‘stay’ but to reconnect with the children he had in the adultery …and thus moved out of our room and stopped engaging in any work to deal with our marriage and my wounds ….it is taking a lot longer.
I have read many books…many many books ..articles…seminars …dvds, cds….all kinds of effort in research of the Word …it is really difficult to live this way …but I continue….it is like being married to someone who is mentally ill in a lot of ways ..except he is very functional in most of the obvious ways …it is just his having chosen to do this TO me …not just for his own reasons …but I feel it is deliberately the only way he can ‘get back ‘ at me for reasons I do not know
He claims this is not the case …but indeed …I have some idea that it is about his immaturity when it comes to true relationship…since he says he never gave any more to the OW either…so I see it as he stayed ‘married ‘ to get what he wanted with her …without having to get really involved …to maintain his freedom ….and he has stayed married to me for the same reason .
He does not want to be seen as a guy who would do what he has done to us …..nor does he want to be publically identified with her since she is not the sort of person he would want to have to be married to .
Lately he says he should not have married …but that is just ridiculous…I know he would not have had the career he had without our marriage ..and the support he was given .
I think he knows it too . He is talented and very able but marriage opens a lot of doors especially in corporate cultures…even if they are not all that deeply devoted…I understand that office sin is not all that surprising to people ..still they do not flaunt it …
I said that many people probably were not fooled when he made this new employee his partner…! He said people always gossip but you just don’t give it any credence ..
Now it is so humiliating to think back over those many years when I would meet people at an annual party and to realize they knew most likely what was going on and probably thought I was dumb or complicit …and I was always testifying about what the Lord was doing in our lives!!! our children too have been humiliated by his life choices….but worse than that is the SHAME he brought to our LORD! That is fearful to think of …!
What a legacy ..all the more reason to repent and take up the walk !!! Time is going by !
Zaza,
Rest assured that prayers are continuing in your behalf.
Thank you ….Jeff you are SO FAITHFUL to the task of helping people ,.your wife is a very blessed woman and I know it takes work on both parts….I so admire marriages where the love of the husband and honor for his wife is evident…makes the ‘job’ of a wife so much easier! Thanks again!
Zaza,
Thank you for your kind words. I am touched by what you wrote. My wife is truly a wonderful and unique woman and I consider myself blessed.