In responding to affairs, people look for solutions. The major solution that is often presented to couples is that of divorce. Divorce as an options does not work through anything, other than the two lawyers trying to better each other. If you are not interested in what the Bible says regarding adultery, then divorce is not a problematic solution for you. If on the other hand, you are genuinely seeking Biblical answers to your dilemma, then read on.
Divorce shows the world how big and how real out God is to us. The divorce option reveals that although we talk about God being big, in reality he is very small and of limited power in our lives. Sadly, in this microwave culture, many churches have been downsizing God in his ability to work in the lives of couples. Churches base their support for such wrong solutions on intentional misreading and misapplication of scripture regarding Jesus’ teaching on divorce. They confuse the words for “fornication” and “adultery”. These are two different concepts. Because the church has confused these terms, they have provided wrong understanding and wrong solutions to the problem of affairs. “Fornication” refers to incestuous marriages, sodomite marriages and betrothal (engagement) unfaithfulness. The term does not mean unfaithfulness withing the marriage, although some ministers have stretched the meaning of the word to justify it. When the terms are confused, then when the divorce card is played, clarity regarding who is the “innocent party” suddenly gets confused. This confusion is part of what makes divorces so painful. Although people may exercise their legal rights, they continue struggling with guilt related to violations of spiritual principles. No amount of legal or spiritual rationalizing will be able to satiate this kind of guilt.
Considering divorce as an option will also serve to weaken the bonds of your next marriage, as well as the marriages of those around you. Affairs weaken marriages and show them disrespect. Divorce utterly destroys marriages. This option not only weakens the marriage, it shows utter contempt for the institution. I believe in marriage. I believe that marriages need strengthening. I believe in restoring marriages and families. If I didn’t, I would not be in the helping area.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
