I have still not decided whether money or fantasies are the life blood of affairs. Although I have discussed the role of fantasies, I have not fully addressed the issue of money. Affairs take money.
Study after study have shown that people with money have more affairs than those without money.
With affairs money is needed for dates, gifts, entertainment, housing, etc. The more involved the affair, the more money it takes. If there is a pulse to check for affairs, it is money. When there’s an affair underway, the flow of money will change.
When you see a sudden unexplained change in the flow of money, it may be worth investigating the source of that change. This is where you have to examine the facts, rather than take people at their word.
Seeing where money actually goes often exposes a person’s real behavior and real priorities.
Since lies and deceit are part of the ‘web of the affair’, you will have to examine the facts. Oftentimes the adulterous spouse has rehearsed and now comes across as sincere in their stories about what happened with the money. You might also want to check for gifts.
If someone is on the prowl for your spouse, your spouse may be purchasing jewelry or clothing items for them. One of the ploys used is for the ‘other person’ to purchase things claiming that the adulterers spouse often ignores their needs.
They are trying to make the case that they can provide for their needs and wants better than the spouse can. The gifts serve as ‘tokens’ of their ability to do so. Those tokens are also reminders that keep the ‘other person’ on the adulterers mind.
If you are cleaning up from an affair, remove all the tokens, since they are reminders of the past. You will also want to keep a close eye on your spouse when they have money.
Money without accountability is a temptation. Even pastors have succumbed to stealing when they have large amounts of money without accountability.Loose money and loose morals soon bring trouble.
When there are large amounts of money coupled with fantasies, trouble is on the way.
Best Regards,
Jeff
