When in the heat of passion, the cheater firmly believes that they must have their love. To hear them talk about it, they can not exist or be happy without their lover. They somehow confuse their personal happiness with commitment and think that their commitment to the marriage is up when they are no longer happy. They resort to the ‘used car’ mentality of when you are used up to move on.
Even when they have the newer model of lover, and can’t live without them, they soon find out that it is not what they imagined. They had to have them, but soon find themselves resenting the lover. They ‘can’t stand’ him or her after a period of time. The passion will eventually wane and they are left with the reality of the relationship. Mature love comes after working through the many issues involved in relationships. Rather than having a mature love with commitment, they have ripe resentments and emotional immaturity.
The laws of physics do catch up with the hot, passionate relations involved in the affair. The affair gives them a way to avoid dealing with reality and the daily issues of their marriage. I often wish that I could have some of the couples where the cheater married their ‘had to have’ lover which has turned to resentment and have them talk to the young hot-blooded cheaters who are often blind in their decisions.
This is just one of the dynamics of affairs. There are many dynamics involved with affairs. I address some of the major ones in my e-book.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
